 |
|
An American Werewolf in Paris
BLACKNESS.
Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon (Brain Damage)" plays as WHITE TITLES
appear over black. As the song crescendos at the first chorus, SUNLIGHT
flares over the lunar horizon and a crescent sliver of THE MOON is
illuminated- huge, filling the screen f rom top to bottom. We're in space,
circling around from the dark side until a HUGE FULL MOON fills the screen
with whiteness- TITLES continue as we pull back from the moon, into the
earth's atmosphere, through CLOUDS, until we reveal
PARIS AT NIGHT
We come to rest on an ancient, vaguely wolf-like GARGOYLE high atop a
gothic cathedral in the Latin Quarter- a maze of narrow, twisting streets-
desolate at this late hour. Clouds move over the moon. End TITLES. The song
fades. A THUNDER CRACK. Rain d rops spatter on the church's metal roof.
Water trickles out of the gargoyle's mouth. We follow the STREAM OF WATER
down to street level where it falls onto
A YOUNG COUPLE
wobbling down the street, sharing a bottle of wine. They open an umbrella
and stand underneath it, smooching and giggling. We follow the STREAM OF
WATER from their umbrella to the street, where it swirls into drain holes
in the MANHOLE COVER that they' re standing on. Suddenly...
CLANG!! The manhole cover pushes up under their feet. He flinches- bites
down on her lip, drawing blood. She yelps.
CLANG!! The cover thrusts up again. They lose their balance, fall to the
ground- the wine bottle smashes. The manhole cover flips off it's hole.
Horrified, they scramble from it. Then, out of it comes...
TERRENCE McDERMOTT
a fiftyish college professor in a turtleneck and old tweed jacket,
clutching a well worn leather shoulder bag and gasping for breath. He's
balding, with longish gray hair and intense eyes. He climbs out of the
hole, replaces the cover and dashes off de sperately through the rain,
looking back over his shoulder as he disappears into a narrow alley.
The couple watch him go, befuddled. She touches her hand to her lip and
looks at the blood. She slaps her boyfriend upside the head.
GIRL
Idiot!
The guy shrugs. Then...
BAM!! The manhole cover explodes off the hole, sails twenty feet into the
air and clatters to the ground some distance away. We cut to the couple's
horrified reactions as they watch something emerge from the hole.
ON A NEARBY STREET
Terrence, running, hears the couple's horrible SCREAMS echo through the
twisting streets. He comes to A STONE STAIRWAY and hurries down it, four
steps at a time. At the bottom he turns right and arrives at a star shaped
five way intersection.
A low, muffled growl stops him in his tracks. He stands in the rain,
panting, looking around at the dark maze of streets, trying to pinpoint the
source of the sound.
TERRENCE
(American accent- to himself)
Where are you, you sick bastard...
A TAXI appears a block away. He waves his arms and calls out in a very good
French accent.
TERRENCE
Taxi! Ici, s'il vous plait!
It turns and drives towards him. He starts off towards it. He glances over
his shoulder- sees nothing. He's twenty feet from the taxi. He smiles.
Then-
He's jerked violently downward into A STORM DRAIN. He screams. Some
monstrous force pulls him down, his bones crushing as his body is forced
through the too-small drain.
The CABBY gets out and runs up to the drain, where Terrence's thrashing
upper body is quickly disappearing into the hole. Horrible growls and
sounds of ripping flesh emanate from the sewer. BLOOD spurts through the
grate. Terrence reaches up to the cab by, SCREAMING for help.
TERRENCE
My God! Help! Au securs!
The terror stricken cabby shakes his head and starts backing up. Terrence
lunges forth and grabs the cabby's leg. The cabby screams and tries to get
loose. He falls to the ground and is dragged towards the hole. He grabs the
bumper of his cab and strai ns to pull himself away, kicking at Terrence's
hand with his free foot.
LIGHTS come on in an adjacent building. A MAN in pajamas runs out into the
rain. The cabby loses his grip on the bumper and he and Terrence are jerked
closer to the sewer but the man grabs the cabby's hand and pulls. Some
OTHER RESIDENTS gather on the sidewalks. A police car SIREN approaches.
Something gives and the man in pajamas falls backwards into a puddle. The
small crowd looks down and sees TERRENCE, pulled free from the hole,
moaning semi-consciously. We move down his body, past the bleeding stumps
where his legs used to be, and foll ow the BLOOD as it swirls into EDDIES
of rain water and flows into the BLACKNESS of the storm drain.
cut
to:
A FIERCE BULL
charges through the matador's red muletta, snorting blood. The CROWD goes
wild. We're in a bull fight arena, under the blazing Spanish sun.
The camera dollies past cheering SPANIARDS and finds a small group of
AMERICAN STUDENTS, early twenties.
gord
Man. I can't believe I paid good money to watch a guy
in tight pants kill a cow.
SHERRY
Disgusting. This makes American Gladiators look
highbrow.
The camera settles on ANDY MCDERMOTT, 22, as he joins the crowd in a
rousing cheer, waving a bottle of wine with native gusto. He's good looking
in a scrappy sort of way, with shoulder length brown hair, grungy plaid
shirt, khakis, and glasses.
andy
Whoo! Ole!
(to his friends)
Man, you guys are losers! This is poetry! Death in the
afternoon, a tragic dance of man and beast, just like
Hemingway said. God, Spain is it! These people know how
to live.
SHERRY
I still say we should've gone to Paris.
andy
Paris!? Ug! If I wanted to be in an overpriced,
overrated city full of obnoxious assholes I would've
stayed in New York! Please!
Another friend, MIKE, joins them.
GORD
Where've you been? Beatin' off in your sombrero again?
Mike swats Steve in the head playfully and grabs the wine from Andy. He
hands him a crumpled telegram.
MIKE
McDermott, your dad sent this to the pensione. Supposed
to be urgent.
andy
(concerned)
What's it about?
mike
(defensive)
I didn't read it.
Andy takes the telegram. Mike leans in close to Sherrie and whispers the
gossip.
mike
His uncle is in the hospital.
Andy reads the message. His face falls. For a second, he's silent. His
friends see something's wrong.
gord
Hey, man. You okay? What is it?
Andy grabs the wine away from Mike and takes a long swig. IN THE BULLRING-
the matador plunges his sword between the bull's shoulder blades and makes
the kill.
cut
to:
INT. PARIS HOSPITAL EMERGENCY WARD - EARLY EVENING
BLOOD splatters on white paper. Pull back to see a CHEF with a cut finger
standing at the admitting counter, dripping blood on a form. The uptight
Parisian NURSE scolds him and pulls out a new form.
ANDY, lugging his back pack, trudges through the sliding glass doors marked
"St. Severin Hospital". Bleary eyed, hung over, burdened by a heavy
backpack and carrying the crumpled telegram, he approaches ANOTHER NURSE at
the counter.
andy
Um, excuse me... hello...
A STOUT WOMAN with a POODLE charges in front of Andy and launches into a
loud French argument with the nurse over the hospital's "human's only"
admission policy.
WOMAN
(French)
Pitou needs a real doctor! He's melancholy!
andy
Hey, wait a minute...
Andy tries to push his way back in, but the shrill little dog yaps at him.
Andy grabs his aching "hangover head" in agony. The bleeding chef walks
away, dripping, leaving the other nurse free. Andy approaches her. She has
her head down in some paperwor k.
andy
Pardon... Excusez moi. 'Allo.
Without looking up, she holds up a "please wait" finger. Andy sighs. The
poodle yaps at him again. He winces and tries to get the nurse's attention.
andy
(to Nurse)
Umm...
She raises her finger sharply and glares at him. She goes back to her
paperwork. Andy starts chatting politely with her, pretending she's
responding.
andy
So, you ever been to Spain? You'd love it. It's
friendly, sunny, cheap... And you'd be the only raving
bitch there instead of just one in the crowd up here.
MARCEL BOULARD, a short middle aged cop in a rumpled coat approaches. He
taps Andy on the shoulder.
marcel
Andrew Mc-dair-mo?
andy
That's McDermott, but yeah.
Marcel flashes his badge.
marcel
Detective Boulard. We've been expecting you. This is
Inspector Leduc.
LEDUC, in his fifties, taller, heavy set, droopy mustache, nods gruffly and
starts towards the elevator, motioning for them to follow.
marcel (cont'd)
He's in charge but, uh, between you and me, my English
is better.
(they hurry to catch up with Leduc)
This way... So you're from New York eh? I love those
Hill Street Blues...
andy
Right. Listen, my uncle, it's not serious is it? Did he
eat some bad snails? Slip on the bidet? What?
They step into the elevator as Leduc holds the door open. Marcel and Leduc
trade uneasy glances. Leduc sighs.
leduc
Merde.
marcel
He says-
andy
Yeah okay. My French isn't that bad.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM
TERRENCE lies comatose under a clear plastic oxygen tent. An ORDERLY
changes the dressing on his bloody stumps. A NURSE fiddles with the vast
array of bleeping, burbling, sucking, life support machinery.
Andy, dumb struck, watches from a few paces away. Marcel, pad in hand, asks
him questions. Leduc stays in the background, listening and studying Andy
intently.
andy
Jesus...
marcel
How well did, er, do you know him?
andy
Not too well. He taught at the Sorbonne, right? Dad
always calls him his "hippie brother". Did some work
with Timothy Leary I think, and- Is he... is he going
to die?
marcel
No. The doctors say the machines should keep him going
a long time. But basically he is, how you say, a
legume.
andy
Legume? You mean, a vegetable?
marcel
Vegetable, right. My mistake. It seems he was attacked
by a maniac, maybe two or three maniacs, just after
midnight. yesterday. They fled into the tunnels beneath
Paris, that's all we know...
andy
What do you mean, maniacs?
marcel
Well, here's what I think happened. A chemistry
professor goes to a bad part of town late at night.
Why? Perhaps he's making a few francs on the side. The
psychedelic drug market is big these days. He gets
mixed up with a bad crowd and, like they say, if you
lie with dogs, you get fleas.
andy
Yeah, well, these fleas must have teeth like fuckin'
chain saws.
BEEP BEEP! Something's wrong with uncle Terrence's machinery. The IV bottle
is sputtering and bubbling, the EKG monitor is flashing. The orderlies snap
into action and pull the curtain shut, waving "no problem" to Andy and
Marcel. Marcel leads Andy awa y, trying to calm him down.
marcel
Maybe we should go now. You must be very tired. We'll
call if any new-
andy
I can't believe this. Why don't you go down in the
tunnels and find the goddamn... animals that attacked
my uncle?
marcel
Andy, it's not so easy. There are hundreds of
kilometers of tunnels under Paris. It's a whole other
city, crawling with drug addicts, lunatics,
skinheads... It's no man's land.
Andy's about to protest when Leduc steps in and hands him uncle Terrence's
leather bag.
leduc
Here.
marcel
Your uncle was carrying this. The keys to his apartment
are in there. I talked to his assistant, Madame
Flocquet. You'll be staying there a while?
andy
Yeah. I guess so.
(they walk him to the elevator)
Did he say anything? Before the coma?
marcel
Just the name of this hospital, St. Severin. He
repeated it a few times then he lost consciousness.
andy
Why would he pick this one?
marcel
I don't know. There were others much closer. He was
religious?
andy
Not that I know.
marcel
Well, when you're about to pop off, what have you got
to lose? Thanks for your help.
Andy's dumbfounded at Marcel's lack of tact. The elevator doors start to
close. Leduc nods "good-bye". Marcel leans in and sneaks in one last
comment.
marcel
And remember Andy, let's be careful out there.
Heh-heh...Ouch!
The elevator doors knock him on the head as they close. Andy shakes his
head.
andy
(to himself)
Inspector Clouseau, on the case. Great.
cut
to:
EXT. TERRENCE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Andy opens the gate of this beautiful 19th century building and walks
through THE COURTYARD to the main entrance. A POODLE yaps at him. The dog
is in the open doorway of the Concierge's apartment, which opens into the
courtyard. The nosy concierge, MAD AME CHRETIEN calls the dog, LULU, back
in and shuts the door.
Andy enters the dark LOBBY, finds the timed auto shut-off light switch and
turns it on. He boards the old fashioned wire cage elevator and presses the
button for #4. McDermott. The elevator ascends painstakingly slowly. Andy
resigns himself to waiting , thumbs through his uncle's date book.
Andy turns to the day Uncle Terrence was attacked. A circled, cryptic entry
at the bottom of the page reads "Meet Claude, Medusa- 11:00". Andy wrinkles
his brow. At this second, the light goes out.
Andy ascends the rest of the way in darkness. The doors open on the fourth
floor. He gets out and finds his way to the apartment. He tries a key in
the lock. It won't turn. He jiggles it. No luck. He goes through this with
two more keys, grumbling unde r his breath. Finally he finds the right one.
He pushes the door open and gasps.
He's face to face with a scary TRIBAL MASK hanging in the entrance way. It
startles him for a second.
andy
This must be the place.
INT. TERRENCE'S APARTMENT
Andy walks in and sets down his bags. A gun COCKS. A young woman's voice
screams at him in French.
YOUNG WOMAN
(in French)
Who are you!? What do you want!?
He turns to see SERAFINE, a beautiful young woman, around 22, casually
dressed and aiming a pistol at his head. He drops the shoulder bag and
reaches for the ceiling.
andy
Don't shoot! Jesus...uh...Je m'appelle Andy. McDermott.
Je suis le... um, shit...
It dawns on her. She drops the gun to her side, embarrassed.
serafine
(in English)
Oh fuck, you are his nephew...
andy
Yeah, that's the word. And you are?
serafine
Serafine Flocquet. I work for your uncle.
ANDY
You? You're Madame Flocquet? I pictured a fat lady with
an apron, not- I don't know- La Femme Nikita.
Serafine puts the gun away in a drawer.
serafine
It sounded like someone picking the lock. After what
happened, I guess I am a little nervous.
She lights a cigarette.
andy
Sure. I can follow that.
serafine
It's a fucking nightmare, isn't it?
andy
Yeah. True. The cops weren't much help either. Their
theory is he was moonlighting as a drug dealer or
something. Make sense to you?
serafine
Police. They have their head in their asshole and they
still can't find shit.
andY
Well put. So, what exactly has uncle Terrence been up
to lately?
As he speaks, he scans the apartment. It's cluttered with an overwhelming
assortment of anthropological oddities from around the globe, medieval
illustrations, molecular models, and an artsy periodic table that's been
used as a dart board.
SERAFINE
He's doing a book with Professor Roussel, about
medieval chemistry. I was just transcribing his notes
onto the computer and - oh shit!
She races out of the room. Andy follows after her.
INT. TERRENCE'S STUDY
She runs in and finds the computer locked up. She smacks it a few times,
clicks the mouse, taps the keyboard. No response.
serafine
Salots! Shitfucker!
andy
(reacts to her loose grasp of American slang)
What?
serafine
If you leave it for more than a few minutes it locks
up. Now I must reboot and type a dozen fucking
passwords. He was security crazy.
She flicks a switch on the back of the computer, rebooting it. Andy pauses
to look at some nearby photos of his uncle.
andy
I still can't get over it. The cops said it was a
"maniac", but he looked like, I don't know, like he'd
gone through a combine harvester or... something.
Serafine gets kind of emotional at the thought...
serafine
They wouldn't let me see him. Family only. I told them,
Terry was almost like a father to me, you know?
Andy reacts to her use of the informal "Terry"...
andy
Depends. Was "Terry" a father like Ward Cleaver or a
father like Woody Allen?
A beat. She grasps his meaning. She's offended. She starts typing on the
computer, giving him the cold shoulder.
serafine
You must not have known him very well. He's not like
that.
andy
Hey, Sorry if I was out of line.
serafine
You were. I have work to do. The publisher wants the
transcripts by Monday. Go. Make yourself at home.
andy
Fine. My mistake. You know, I'm gonna be a writer
myself some day.
serafine
Uh-huh. Good for you.
Andy sees he's sunk. He heads for the door, but something on the wall
catches his eye. A small flyer on the bulletin board with a big drawing of
Medusa. He takes it down.
andy
Medusa... What's this? some kind of club?
serafine
It's nothing. A stupid party. Not really a night club,
it's, uh..
andy
Like an underground club?
serafine
Yes. It's a bad place. Weird people. Strange things go
on.
andy
And who's Claude?
Serafine looks at him hard, questioning.
andy
I looked through my uncle's date book. Writer's
curiosity.
She points to a paperback on the desk. It's French, with a psychedelic
cover depicting a man, half King Louis XIV, half witch doctor. The title,
(in French) "History Inside Out - Psychic Illumination Through the Ages" by
Dr. Claude Roussel. A picture o n the back shows an academic looking Claude
in a tweed jacket, with gray hair.
serafine
Professor Claude Rousel. The one your uncle was working
with. He teaches cultural history.
andy
In an underground club? I'd like to see that.
He shoves the book in his back pocket. Serafine's emphatic.
serafine
I'm serious. There's nothing for you down there. It's
dangerous.
andy
Come on. I'm from New York - the "shoot me" state.
Don't wait up.
He starts for the door, She spins him around by the sleeve.
seraFine
(suddenly quite angry)
What good can you do? Why are you being so fucking
stupid?
andy
(getting fired up)
Maybe I didn't know him like you did. But he's my
uncle. And I owe it to him to get some answers. It's a
quest like, uh, Hemingway, the Old Man and The Sea.
Except instead of an old man I'm a young man, and
instead of the sea, it's a bunch of tunnels u nder
Paris. And instead of a big fish it's... who knows?
That's what I'm going to find out. Au revoir.
He walks out of the office. She calls after him.
serafine
You're a fucking lunatic!
The front door slams. She looks after him, incredulous.
SERAFINE
(French)
God damned Americans.
cut
to:
EXT. RUE D'ENFER - NIGHT
A MEDUSA HEAD is carved in the stone above the doorway of a crumbling old
facade in a rundown Parisian neighborhood. Andy tries the front door. It's
locked. There's no sounds or signs of life.
andy
(to himself)
Some party.
Andy starts off, then pauses as three PARTY GOERS approach the door.
They're "modern-primitives"- tribal tattoos, pierced noses, and weird
beaded hair. One fishes a key from the Medusa's mouth, opens the door, and
lets the group in.
Andy slips in behind them. One GUY in the group looks Andy over and mutters
something in French to his friends. They snigger amongst themselves and
walk to a door across the foyer. Andy follows, a few paces behind, through
the door, down some stairs, i nto
A DILAPIDATED BASEMENT
Lit with a few candles. They walk past an old boiler, through another door,
into
A NARROW STONE SPIRAL STAIRCASE
They proceed down the ancient stairway, also lit only by the occasional
candle placed on the steps. They reach the bottom of the steps and enter a
dark, drippy stone tunnel, still lit by candles. Some rats scurry away
through the puddles under Andy's f eet.
Candles lead the way through the maze of intersecting tunnels. Some
graffiti scratched in the wall catches Andy's eye: "Jean Philippe 1803". He
pauses to look at it for and loses the group ahead of him. He follows the
candles on his own, turning right, left, and left again. A loud, muffled
bass beat gets louder. He rounds the corner into
THE WILD UNDERGROUND PARTY SPACE
In an open cavern, lit with torches and strobe lights. Two hundred people
are gyrating to eerie techno-tribal dance music. It's a weird crowd, mostly
young modern primitive pierced and grungy RAVERS, many wearing day-glo
tribal face paint. Clusters of sullen, militant SKINHEADS hang around the
periphery.
An attractive, blissed-out WAIF approaches Andy with a paintbrush and a jar
of day glo face paint and a brush. She goes to paint Andy's face. He stops
her.
andy
That's alright. I'll be a cowboy.
She smiles and pushes his hand down. He shrugs and lets her paint two day
glow red stripes on his cheeks.
andy
Alright. Fine...
(with mock enthusiasm)
Ooh. I can feel it tingling.
Andy sniffs and makes a face- the paint has a weird smell.
andy (cont'd)
Phew. What's in this stuff, liquid plumber?
(he pulls the book out of his pocket and
shows her Claude's picture)
Do you know this guy? Claude?
waif
Ah oui, le professeur. La bas.
She points to a dark alcove off the main cavern. Andy nods and starts off.
We move in on a leather clad young man leaning against the wall, watching
Andy go. This is GASTON DUFAUX, a self-styled Parisian thug, who seems to
be cultivating a sort of "Mic key Rourke" look. He takes a drag from his
cigarette and we see he's missing two fingers.
Andy makes his way through the crowd. People are dancing with wild abandon,
and many carry torches. A SKINNY GUY IN A DIAPER and a paper mache skull
mask runs through the crowd, ranting and spraying fluorescent silly string.
He does a weird dance aroun d Andy and jabbers at him in French.
andy
Uh, lemme get back to ya on that.
Andy approaches the side room and peers in. A small group of young people
are listening intently to CLAUDE, whose back is to us. He's expounding
about something in a solemn tone.
claude
(French, to group)
...How ironic. A man who dedicated his life to opening
the doors of the mind now lies trapped behind them.
Locked behind a door without a key.
We follow Andy as he steps around the crowd and sees Claude's face. He
looks older than in the photo- he's in his late fifties, with white hair
and intense eyes.
ANDY
Excusez moi, I...
Claude notices the book in Andy's hand. He speaks fluent English.
claude
I'm sorry my friend, I'm not signing books right now.
There's been a tragedy.
andy
I know. I'm Andy McDermott. Terrence's nephew.
Claude is taken by surprise.
claude
My God, I'm sorry. But how did you find your way down
here? Wait, let's go talk...
He excuses himself from his "flock" and leads Andy to a quiet corner of the
room. The kids disperse, several looking sympathetically at Andy.
claude
It's horrible. Terrence was one of the most brilliant
men I've known.
andy
Yeah, well, why did he hang out here? The cops said
it's dangerous-
Claude
The cops. It's their backward laws that force all this
underground in the first place, endangering people
whose only crime is pushing the limits of perception,
exploring new states of psychic awareness.
They're suddenly doused with day-glo silly string as the jibbering idiot in
the diaper pops in to deliver a rant at them.
GUY IN DIAPER
(French)
The moon is bleeding! Prepare for the downpour!
He ducks back out. Andy picks the silly string out of his hair.
andy
Psychic awareness. Right.
claude
You think it's silly. But do you realize that young man
is actually in a deep sleep?
andy
What?
claude
He's on a new drug called ZBH, or "Daydream". It allows
the user to be fully alert and mobile while he's
dreaming. He is literally conscious and unconscious at
the same time.
andy
Yeah well, that's like really groovy and everything,
but who hacked my uncle's legs off?
Claude frowns. He looks grave.
claude
Andy...
andy
Yeah?
claude
Terrence and I came down here to do serious work. For
centuries these tunnels have been home to subcultures
mainstream society would not tolerate.
He gestures to the main cavern, where people are far gone into various
states... some in a trance, some gyrating lustily to the eerily hypnotic
music. We intercut with these images as Claude speaks.
claude (cont'd)
These people carry on traditions dating back to pagan
times- the ancient quest for expanded consciousness. At
the same time they're pioneering a chemical revolution,
powerful state-of-the-art compounds... But you know
what I mean....
(he gestures to Andy's face paint)
A year ago who would have dreamed of topically applied
hallucinogens like TMD? Except Terry of course...
Andy's eyes widen with comprehension. He touches his face.
andy
What!? Hallucinogen? Oh shit...
He rubs the face paint off with his shirt sleeve.
claude
You didn't know? But then why did you... well, don't
worry. It's relatively mild.
andy
Yeah, well if I claw my face off, just pack it in ice,
okay? Jesus... the cops were probably right. My uncle
was messed up with a bunch of fry brains and they went
berserk on him.
Claude lowers his voice. He looks grim.
claude
No... We stumbled on something else down here Andy.
Something horrible, almost unbelievable. But very real.
It's been going on for centuries, though most people
wouldn't believe it, or wouldn't want to...
Andy's somewhere between spooked and incredulous. He glances at the book in
his hand.
andy
Wait a second, are you like the Steven King of France
or something...
serafine (o.s.)
Andy!
Andy turns and sees Serafine run up to him. She looks worried.
ANDY
So you came after all. Just in time, it's getting
interesting.
serafine
You must get out of here. It's not safe.
She grabs him by the arm. He resists.
ANDY
Not you too-
CLAUDE
(checks his watch)
My God! Serafine's right. It's time to go. We'll talk
soon.
serafine
Bon nuit Claude.
(to Andy)
Come on.
Claude dashes off. Serafine drags Andy into the main cavern.
andy
Hey, chill out a second!
She leads him across the cavern towards the entrance. Andy stops short and
pulls away from her. It's not easy- she has a strong grip.
Andy
Alright, hold on. I'm not gonna get dragged around like
some kid in a shopping mall. I want you to answer some
questions.
Serafine sees something over Andy's shoulder.
serafine
Merde. I knew I shouldn't have come here.
Andy turns to see Gaston approaching. He leers at Serafine.
gaston
(French)
Serafine, mon cher. I hear your boss looks great in
cut-offs.
serafine
(French)
Get the fuck away from me, Gaston.
gaston
(French)
First you tell me where the ADM is, eh?
He puts his hand on her shoulder. Andy notices the missing fingers.
serafine
(French)
Fuck you.
She shoves his hand away and pulls Andy past him. Gaston grabs her and
spins her around. This time Andy grabs Gaston's hand and pulls it off her.
He holds up Gaston's three fingered hand and glares at him.
andy
Well, this explains the two fingers they found in
Liberace's asshole.
Gaston jerks his hand away. He stabs his finger in Andy's chest.
gaston
In Paris we have an expression for people like you:
Enculé d'Americain.
andy
Yeah? In New York we got an expression too. Goes like
this...
CRACK! Andy hauls off and belts Gaston in the jaw as hard as he can. But
Gaston doesn't even lose his footing. He sneers with rage and hits Andy
with a vicious combination. His glasses fly off as he reels into the crowd,
knocking a few people into a gr oup of nearby SKINHEADS. The skinheads
erupt into randomly directed violence- a full fledged BRAWL breaks out.
It's chaos.
On the floor, Andy squirms away from the skinheads and retrieves his
glasses. He hears Serafine call his name. He gets up amidst the mayhem and
sees Serafine being carried away by the crowd.
andy
Serafine!
Someone knocks into Andy and he falls to the ground. He gets back on his
feet- Serafine's nowhere in sight. He pushes his way through the crowd,
looking for her. He catches sight of her white dress in a distant corner.
It's there for a second and then gone again - apparently into a tunnel. He
runs over to it.
Andy peers into THE TUNNEL, which houses some old pipes. It fades quickly
into darkness. He grabs a kerosene torch from the wall and runs into the
tunnel. About a hundred yards in he passes an ALCOVE.
He leans in with his torch and peers around. The cave like room is empty
but something catches Andy's eye. Scratched into the stone wall, amidst
various graffiti, is A PENTAGRAM. It looks to be centuries old.
Andy's transfixed by it. The sound of his own breathing suddenly becomes
deafening and his vision begins to distort: the textures of the stone wall
begin to churn and crawl, and the flames from his torch melt into different
hues. The pentagram glows an d seems to grow out of the wall...
The hallucinatory flash is over as fast as it began. Panting, stunned, Andy
shakes it off. He wipes his face, checking for traces of paint. He tries to
reassure himself.
andy
Whoa. C'mon.
A woman's SCREAM echoes through the tunnels. He runs towards it.
Andy
Serafine!?
Another scream- anguished, tortured. Andy runs faster. He arrives at an
intersection with another tunnel, turns the corner and finds...
A decrepit old WINO hogging a bottle from his warty HAG companion,
provoking her to scream like she just lost her only son. They look up at
Andy. The hag shuts up. They fix Andy with an odd stare.
andy
Sorry...I, uh, did you see a girl, la femme, um, avec,
la dress blanc?
They just stare at him. Spooked, he walks past them. They follow him with
their creepy stare as he continues into the tunnel, which slopes downhill.
He comes to an old stairway leading down into darkness. WATER pours out of
a hole in the ceiling. The steps are severely eroded and slick with flowing
water and moss. Andy sees something. It's SERAFINE'S SHOE, laying on a
landing a few yards down the s tairs. He leans in further, loses his
footing and slips.
andy
Ahh! Son of a bitch!
He shoots down the stairs on his back, past the shoe which lies at the
mouth of an intersecting tunnel. His glasses come off. The torch goes out.
He stops at the bottom of the stairs on a gravel surface.
He winces a bit as he sits up. It's too dark to make much out. He feels
around the gravel, finds his GLASSES - they're shattered. He scowls. He
stands up and walks ahead, feeling his way along the slick wall, peering
into the darkness.
ANDY
SERAFINE!?
The echo sounds different- like he's in a larger space. The echo decays
into a familiar low RUMBLE.
A reflection of light appears in a puddle on the floor. The light gets
brighter until Andy sees the subway tracks at his feet. The rumble gets
suddenly louder as
A METRO TRAIN
barrels around the corner, flooding the tunnel with light and closing on
Andy fast.
andy
Oh shit!
He turns and runs for THE STAIRWAY. He skids on the gravel and overshoots
it. He scrambles back and up into it just as THE TRAIN whooshes past.
Andy scurries a few feet up the slick steps, using a rusty pipe for a
handhold. As he looks back at the SPARKING, RUSHING TRAIN WHEELS, his heart
pounding in his head, he has another HALLUCINATORY-FLASH: the sparks
explode into streaking patterns of co lor and light.
It passes quickly. The train goes by and its rumble fades. Andy squeezes
his temples and takes a deep breath. Before he finishes exhaling, an
UNEARTHLY HOWL echoes through the tunnels. The howl literally takes his
breath away- he's frozen there, eyes w ide, not breathing for a long
moment.
Quietly, carefully, he makes his way back up the dark, wet stairs. He comes
to the landing, picks up Serafine's shoe, and steps into the INTERSECTING
TUNNEL. He squints into the darkness. Without his glasses, ANDY'S POV is a
bit blurry. He walks into the tunnel. Another HOWL. Andy swallows hard.
andy
Jesus Christ...
He hurries along. WATER DRIPS from the tunnel ceiling, down the walls, onto
the cobblestone floor, flowing into rivulets around Andy's feet and joining
a stream that flows ahead of him, disappearing into the blackness ahead. He
approaches another inter section. He stumbles over something.
He looks down and makes out a GIRL'S BARE LEG lying in a puddle in the dark
intersecting tunnel. He follows the leg up with his eyes- it's messily
severed above the knee. He gasps.
He looks further into the tunnel and sees A PAIR OF GLOWING YELLOW EYES
staring back at him out of the darkness. Andy turns and runs.
With a horrible ROAR, the eyes lunge after him and turn the corner. As it
gains on Andy, we see the dim outline of the massive wolf-like beast.
Andy dives for a SMALL CONDUIT, barely big enough for his body, and
wriggles into it. Behind him the yellow eyes appear at the mouth of the
conduit - the beast SNARLS but can't fit in. Andy can see a dim light at
the end of the conduit. He crawls along .
He emerges into ANOTHER TUNNEL. Some thirty yards away, light and street
noise come through a GRATE on the ceiling of an antechamber beyond an iron
gate. Relieved, Andy starts off towards it. A SNARL stops him in his
tracks. THE BEAST comes tearing aro und a corner fifty yards behind him.
Andy breaks into a sprint towards the antechamber. He slips on the wet
floor and lands in a puddle, drenching himself. The beast closes in.
Andy gets up, runs into the antechamber and slams the iron gate shut.
There's a rusty DEADBOLT lock on the gate, but no key. The beast is twenty
five yards away and closing fast - it's massive silhouette filling the
diameter of the tunnel.
Andy whips out his SWISS ARMY KNIFE, opens the screw driver and tries it in
the old-fashioned keyhole- it doesn't work. The beast is twenty feet away.
Andy tries the can opener- no luck. Ten feet. Andy jams the corkscrew into
the hole. The beast leaps. The corkscrew turns. The DEADBOLT SLIDES.
SLAM!! The beast rams the gate, shaking the anteroom. But it holds. Flashes
of CLAWS and TEETH thrash through the bars, but it's still too dark to make
the beast out clearly. Andy runs across the anteroom, grabs the steel sewer
grate on the ceiling, an d hoists himself up.
Through the bars, he sees a BUSY BOULEVARD in the Pigalle (the "Times
Square" of Paris). There's a COP a few paces away. Andy screams to him.
ANDY
HELP! OFFICER!
ON THE BOULEVARD- Over the roar of traffic and midnight revelers, the cop
can barely pinpoint Andy's screams. He looks around, confused. He sees Andy
and angrily shakes his baton at him.
cop
(French)
Hey! You shouldn't be down there!
ANDY
FOR GOD'S SAKES, LET ME OUT!!
THE BEAST slams the gate, wrenching one of the iron bars loose- two more
bars and it'll fit through. Andy jumps down, picks up the loose bar. It's
got a STAR SHAPED SPEAR TIP.
He rushes at the gate and jams the spear through the gate, aiming for the
thrashing teeth and eyes in the darkness.
The beast ducks and the spear sinks a couple of inches into the BACK OF
IT'S NECK and stops, apparently on bone. It recoils and ROARS with pain,
shaking the spear free.
ON THE STREET- The cop raps the bars with his nightstick and peers into the
dark anteroom.
COP
(in French)
You are not allowed down there!
IN THE ANTEROOM- The beast rams the gate- it's rage redoubled. Andy jumps
up and grabs the grate.
andy
GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!
ON THE STREET
COP
(French)
"Fuck"? You think I don't know this word "fuck"? Is
that how you talk to policemen in America?
Enraged, the cop runs to his car, muttering to himself. He opens the trunk
and rummages around for something.
IN THE ANTEROOM- The beast knocks another bar off the gate. Andy watches in
horror as it rams even harder, loosening the NEXT BAR.
andy
(to the cop)
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
ON THE STREET- The cop looks over at Andy, incensed. He takes a crowbar
from the trunk, runs back cussing in French, and struggles with the grate.
IN THE ANTEROOM- The NEXT BAR on the gate gives. The beast sticks its head
through the gap and focuses it's searing yellow eyes on Andy. It rears
back, ready to pounce...
THE GRATE- comes up. The cop grabs Andy and pulls...
IN THE ANTEROOM- Andy's legs dangle like bait. The beast lunges, teeth and
claws bared.
ON THE STREET- Andy screams as a bus roars by. The cop pulls him up and
out. Andy's right pants leg is torn open and he's bleeding from a GOUGE in
his ankle.
cop
(French)
Okay, what the hell are you up to?
ANDY
It bit me! My leg! Jesus, it's down there, shoot it!
Shoot it for Christ's sakes!
He points frantically at the open hole. The cop aims his flashlight in the
hole. It's empty. He looks Andy up and down.
COp
(French)
Your passport.
Shaking, Andy takes his passport out of his pocket. The cop takes it and
copies some information. Andy raves at him- a blur of English and broken
French.
andy
There's something down there! A bear or something! A
god damn monster! Beau coup teeth! Huge, Grande, with
yellow eyes, all this hair, it killed Serafine! My
God...
cop
You on drugs? Huh?
andy
(he falters)
No...I...
He looks disoriented, half-crazed. He definitely seems like he's on drugs.
The cop shines his flashlight in Andy's eyes- his PUPILS are like saucers.
ANDY'S POV
The cop's flashlight sparks another HALLUCINATORY FLASH. The cops face
melts like liquid, sounds swirl together, the garish neon signs of The
Pigalle explode into streaking colors and we BURN INTO WHITE.
cut
to:
EXT. TERRENCE'S APARTMENT BUILDING
The cop car pulls to a stop. The cop gets out, opens the back door, and
pulls Andy out. He pushes Andy towards the building.
cop
(French)
Stay off the street.
The cop gets in the car and drives away. Andy staggers to the gate in a
daze and fumbles with the keys.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING
Andy walks up to the apartment door. Disoriented and shaking, he manages to
open the door and walk in. He locks the door, and switches on the lights.
He looks out the small PEEPHOLE. No sign of anyone or anything. He leans
back against the door and rub s his hands across his face.
andy
Oh god. Je suis seriously messed up...
There's a DRIPPING sound coming from the kitchen. Andy looks across the
living room into the dark kitchen. The DRIP continues. He steps forward
cautiously. Suddenly he feels something and looks down sharply.
UNCLE TERRENCE, bloody stumps and all, is clutching Andy's legs and looking
up at him desperately. He's trying to speak but can't seem to make a sound.
Blood from his wounds soaks the WHITE BEAR RUG beneath them.
Andy's terror struck, he tries to jump away but falls backwards to the
floor. Terrence crawls up and gets close to Andy's face. He croaks out two
words in a rasp-
TERRENCE
Saint Severin...
INT. TERRENCE'S HOSPITAL ROOM - SAME TIME
The EKG monitor shows a FLATLINE. Alarms are BEEPING. Terrence's body lies
motionless under the oxygen tent. A DOCTOR and a NURSE rush to the bed. The
nurse rips the oxygen tent away and the doctor SLAMS his fists down on
Terrence's chest. The EKG show s a tentative blip. The doctor SLAMS again.
An erratic heart beat starts back up on the EKG.
INT. TERRENCE'S APARTMENT - SAME TIME
Andy lies passed out on the floor. Terrence is gone, and the rug is free
from blood.
FADE
TO
BLACK.
INT. LEDUC'S OFFICE - DAY
Marcel sits next to the patrol cop, PEROTIN, who rescued Andy. They're
hysterical with laughter. Even Leduc, sitting behind his desk, is
chuckling.
LEDUC
(French)
What else did he say?
perotin
(French)
Yellow eyes...big teeth...
(he can barely choke out the words between
laughs)
Covered with hair! Ha-ha-ha!
Perotin playfully growls at Marcel. They laugh even harder.
LEDUC
(French)
Okay Perotin. You can go.
Perotin nods, still laughing. Marcel walks him to the door. Before he steps
out, Perotin bares his teeth, growls again, and cracks up some more.
Marcel, laughing, claps him on the back and shuts the door- then he and
Leduc go instantly stone faced. The y look at each other gravely.
leduc
(French)
Well?
marcel
(grim)
Okay. So maybe you were right.
leduc
Hmmph. At least now there's one person around here who
doesn't think I'm crazy.
Leduc walks to a map of Paris on the wall covered with colored push pins.
He sticks a blue pin in it. He points to a green pin on another part of the
map.
LEDUC
(French)
Twelve thirty-six a.m. here. Twelve forty a.m. here.
There's two of them. At least.
marcel
Merde.
Leduc looks at his calendar. Four days are circled in red ink.
LEDUC
(French)
Two more nights in this lunar cycle.
marcel
Double merde.
Leduc opens a tall cabinet, revealing a bookshelf stuffed with dusty tomes.
He browses past dozens of titles about black magic and demonology.
LEDUC
You better follow that McDermott kid. He's going to
wind up like his uncle if he's not careful.
marcel
Right. Little twerp thinks he's Colombo.
Leduc selects an old book and hands it to Marcel.
LEDUC
And do some research, will you?
Marcel takes the book. He inspects the cover (it's in French)- "Werewolves
through the Ages: from St. Severin to the present".
marcel
(confused)
Saint Severin...
leduc
You never heard the story of Saint Severin driving the
werewolves from Paris?
marcel
You think that's what McDermott was raving about in the
ambulance?
leduc
What, you think everyone's as ignorant as you?
Marcel considers this.
marcel
Pretty much.
Leduc grunts, exasperated.
marcel (cont'd)
Inspector, you're not exactly typical. I mean c'mon...
(holds up book)
This thing isn't sitting on a lot of coffee tables.
cut
to:
INT. TERRENCE'S APT.- LATE MORNING
THE SAME OLD BOOK, sitting on the coffee table. The pages are stuffed with
notepaper place markers, many covered with scribbling, and CHEMICAL
NOTATION. In the background, on the floor, is Andy- fast asleep and snoring
where he collapsed the night befo re.
We hear a key in the lock. The door opens, smacking Andy in the head once,
twice.
andy
Aoww! Hey! What the hell...?
He grabs the door so it can't hit him again. Serafine pokes her head around
and sees him. She's surprised, relieved, elated. Andy's reaction is more
disoriented, stunned.
serafine
Andy! Holy shit!
andy
Serafine...?
She kneels beside him and helps him sit up.
serafine
Thank God! What a relief! I thought... After you
disappeared... I couldn't find you... I thought all
sorts of horrible things...
andy
Yeah... Ditto. I saw, er, I thought I saw you get
munched... like Uncle Terrence...
He looks over at the clean bear rug. Andy rises to his feet groggily. He
looks down at the rip in his pant leg. He feels the torn fabric, trying to
remember.
serafine
What happened? Did you cut yourself?
andy
Um... sort of... Maybe... It's all kind of blurry. We
met at the club, then... Damn, that was some weird
shit.
He goes over to the window and parts the curtains. It's a brilliant sunny
day.
serafine
That was fucking stupid, going down there. You could
have been killed. I tried to warn you, But you don't
listen. Just like your uncle.
Andy's only half listening. He opens the window, and inhales deeply. Across
the court yard, a MATRONLY WOMAN leans out a window, hanging her laundry.
In the courtyard, Lulu the obnoxious poodle YAPS at another resident, and
Madame Chretien calls her ba ck. Andy's head is clearing. His mood lifting.
serafine (cont'd)
You have to be a hero. All Americans think they are
cowboys.
andy
(leaning out window)
I was an Indian, actually. Man, that damn psycho
paint...! If that's supposed to be mild, I don't want
to know about medium.
(he looks at the woman and smiles, the sun on
his face. To himself:)
The planet earth. It's good to be back.
serafine
So... you feel okay now?
He turns around and smiles at her.
andy
Yeah. Actually, I feel fan-fucking-tastic.
Serafine laughs. She hasn't heard this expression before. He approaches
her.
serafine
Fan-fucking-tastic?
andy
Hey, what more could I want? I survived my first and
last hallucinogenic hellride, and neither of us is
dead. I'd say I feel almost as great as you look.
He makes a grab for her, and she pushes him away.
serafine
Hey! Calm down.
He jumps up on the sofa, unable to contain his energy.
andy
Come on Serafine. Let's go out. Show me the real Paris,
the part that isn't overpriced and overrun with German
tourists.
serafine
Go to Jim Morrison's grave at Pere Lachaise. It's
overrun with American tourists. I have to work.
andy
I know! Let's go hock loogies off the Eiffel Tower!
She digs in her pockets and hands him some coins.
serafine
Here. You go. "Hock some loogies" for me.
She turns and heads off to the office. He runs in front of her and blocks
her path.
andy
What about food? Even beautiful women have to eat. It's
true. I read it. Please? A half an hour?
(pause. He sees she's tempted)
My treat?
(she's smiling. He resorts to begging)
Pleez! Don't make go out there alone again! I'm begging
you!
serafine
Okay. But I'm back in half an hour.
Andy claps his hands together in triumph and scrambles to hold open the
door for her.
serafine
What about your glasses?
andy
It's okay. I can see fine.
She gestures to his filthy clothes.
serafine
Don't you want to change?
andy
Man! Our first date and already you're trying to get me
to change! You French women work quick!
She smiles and pushes him back in the apartment.
CUT
TO:
EXT. PARIS BOULEVARD- DAY
JERRY LEWIS
on a TV screen, dubbed with a zany French voice, undergoes a radical
physical transformation in "The Nutty Professor". Pull back to reveal Andy
and Serafine watching this scene on a dozen or so TV's in a store window
display. Several PARISIAN PEDESTRIA NS watch Jerry with reverence.
andy
Now this is Paris!
On screen, the Nutty Professor's alter ego, "Buddy Love" launches into his
swinging version of "That Old Black Magic". To this accompaniment, we cut
the following-
PARIS MONTAGE:
- AT A BRASSERIE: Andy is about to escort Serafine into the trendy eatery,
but she stops him at the door and points to the menu, or more specifically
the prices. He makes a horrified face, and they move on.
- IN A BOULANGERIE: Serafine buys cheese, Andy buys meats- the counterman
shows Andy how big a slice off the pate loaf he's about to cut. Andy nods
"yes". The counterman cuts it and offers the slice. Andy shakes his head
"no" and points to the much lar ger remainder of the loaf.
- AT AN OUTDOOR MARKET: Detective Marcel, wearing a lame "disguise" (new
wave sunglasses ala "Diva"), watches Andy and Serafine shop from a
distance.
- IN A PATISSERIE: Andy points to a large baguette, says something
suggestive and winks boastfully at Serafine. She gives him a "yeah, right"
look and points at a small breadstick.
- IN A WINE STORE: Andy looks at each bottle closely, then "tests" it by
shaking vigorously. Serafine's amused. The owner's baffled.
- ON THE RIGHT BANK: Arms full of groceries, Andy and Serafine pass the row
of outdoor pet stores near the river. Andy looks longingly at the live
ducks in their cages. Serafine pulls him along. MUSIC fades out.
EXT. ILE SAINT LOUIS - SUNSET
Andy and Serafine sit on the river bank facing a magnificent Paris vista.
Serafine unpacks the food.
serafine
Shit! You bought enough pate for a fucking army!
andy
So tell me, exactly which truck driver did you study
English with?
She laughs and pushes him playfully.
ANDY
Like I should talk. Monsieur foot-in-the-mouth. I'm
really sorry about that whole Woody Allen thing...
serafine
So's Woody Allen.
(Andy laughs. She starts uncorking the wine.)
No, your uncle really helped me. I was sort of messed
up for a while. Wasting my time just partying and...
just stupid shit. He kind of woke me up, gave me a job,
got me taking classes.
(she uncorks the wine and
fills their plastic cups)
You know, he and Claude, their work is controversial,
but they're serious about it. Totally dedicated.
andy
That's what counts. If you're not passionate about it,
don't waste your time. That's why I quit college...
Plus I'm a lazy bastard.
(CONTINUED...)
andy (cont'd)
(They raise their cups.
Andy taps his forehead.)
Wait, I know this... A votre sante.
serafine
A la votre.
They "clink" and drink. He notices her KEYCHAIN lying on the ground. It's a
miniature replica of Rodin's famous sculpture, "The Kiss". He picks it up.
andy
This looks familiar...
serafine
Ahh, Rodin. Mmm! He's the fuc-
(she catches herself
and laughs)
I mean, he's the best. You must go to the Rodin
sculpture garden, in the huitieme, it's so beautiful.
She gestures across the river. Andy looks at the gorgeous panorama.
andy
Yeah, I gotta admit, you French are pretty good at
beautiful.
He looks at Serafine. She looks back at him. He holds up "The Kiss".
andy
I bet you're pretty good at this too.
She smiles playfully.
serafine
What, sculpting?
He shakes his head "no" and moves towards her. They kiss tenderly. They
separate and share a deep, passionate look. They kiss again, hungrily,
falling into a passionate embrace. They're really going for it. Her NAILS
dig into his back. He pulls her bod y into his until they look like one
form- just like Rodin's sculpture.
APPLAUSE and CHEERS break the moment. A TOURIST BOAT is gliding by on the
Seine, it's ELDERLY PASSENGERS applauding the young couple. Serafine pulls
away, blushing a little, and turns to the boat. ANDY doesn't even notice
the boat. He's staring at Sera fine with a scary kind of intensity. She
starts to say something but he starts kissing her again, cutting her off.
Suddenly he's out of control, pawing at her... It takes an effort for her
to pull back from him.
serafine
Hey, calm down a second...
She looks into his eyes and freezes with fear. HIS STARE is terrifying,
totally predatory, inhuman. Something's ignited in him. She pushes him away
and shakes him.
serafine
What's wrong with you!?
Andy blinks and seems to come a couple of steps back to normality.
andy
What? Aren't I a good kisser? What's the matter?
She fixes him with a heavy, suspicious stare. She glances down at his
ankle, where the bottom of HIS WOUND is visible. She seems to understand
something. She fumbles in her purse, takes out a compact mirror, and checks
her face.
serafine
God, look at my lipstick. Look, I'm going to run into
the bathroom at that cafe. Stay here and watch the
stuff, okay?
She gets up and starts off. He looks after her.
andy
Serafine...
serafine
I'll be right back. Stay put.
She runs up the steps to street level. Andy watches her go. He turns back
to his glass of wine and chugs it. He puts the bottle to his lips and takes
a long belt. He picks up the big block of pate and bites into it like a
piece of cake. He likes it. He takes another huge bite. He looks after
Serafine. He gets up.
INT. CAFE
Serafine puts her "telecarte" into the pay phone and dials. She looks
anxious, upset. We hear the phone ringing at the other end. Behind her,
Andy comes into the cafe. He walks up to her, pissed off.
andy
Fixing your makeup with a phone, huh? Who the fuck are
you calling?
serafine
Professor Roussel. There's something wrong with you. I
know it.
andy
Roussel? You mean Claude? You're calling Dr. Demento so
he can come paint my face again? Fuck that.
Andy starts backing away.
serafine
Andy, stop! I think he can help you-
(Claude picks up)
claude (V.O.)
Allo?
andy
What, you think you're gonna catch fucking leprosy from
me? Fuck that shit! If I'm not good enough for you I'll
find someone else!
He turns and storms out of the cafe. Serafine's flustered.
SERAFINE
Andy!
claude (V.O.)
(French)
Serafine? Is that you? What's going on?
Serafine
(French)
Claude, it's Andy, he's acting really weird, I think
something happened last night...
claude (V.O.)
God, well don't let him go! Catch him!
She drops the phone and runs out of the cafe. On the sidewalk, she looks in
all directions. Nothing. Andy's gone.
serafine
Fuck!
INT. CLAUDE'S OFFICE.- SAME TIME
Claude's sitting at his desk, phone to his ear. The room is stuffed with
books.
claude
Serafine? Allo?
He hangs up. He strokes his chin and furrows his brow, sinking deep into
thought.
cut
to:
EXT. STREETS OF PARIS - NIGHT
Music cue: "Wolf Call" by Elvis Presley. Andy pays for a crepe at one of
the roadside stands, and eats it as he walks along the narrow sidewalk,
still brooding about Serafine. He stops to gawk at the PRETTY GIRLS that
pass by, and bumps into a young FR ENCH TOUGH with a ROTTWEILER.
french tough
Idiot!
andy
Ah, bite me!
He glares at the tough and his growling dog. The dog suddenly shrinks back
in fear and decides it's time to leave. He pulls his owner along. Andy
continues on his way. He ditches the half finished crepe. That's not what
he's hungry for.
Andy comes upon a trendy little CAFE with several tables of diners eating
in the open air. Andy notices an attractive young blond sitting alone,
thumbing through a "Let's Go" guide. This is AMY SINGLETON. Andy approaches
confidently.
andy
Ahem. Did you know that, according to the "Let's Go"
code of conduct, whenever two Americans meet in Paris,
the one with the sexiest smile has to buy dinner?
Amy smiles. She is indeed sexy, with remarkable, sparkling BLUE EYES.
andy
Damn! You win!... Waiter! Garcon!
He jumps into the seat across from her.
amy
Actually, I'm waiting for someone.
andy
What a coincidence, I am someone!
(sniffs)
Mmm. Calvin Klein's Obsession. Now it's mine too.
She laughs. The waiter arrives to take their order. Andy hands him the
empty half bottle of wine from Amy's table.
andy
Hi. Another, bigger bottle for this ravishing blue eyed
Goddess and myself. And, avez vous le Steak Tartar?
CUT
TO:
INT. TERRENCE'S APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - SAME TIME
Serafine unlocks the door and enters the apartment. She's stopped cold by
what she sees. The place has been totally ransacked - drawers opened,
shelves cleared, furniture overturned, the works. The window is open.
serafine
Merde! Salots!
She walks across the room, kicking at the debris in her path. She stands in
the middle of the mess, absolutely furious.
serafine
Aaaaah!
EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS
Across the street from the apartment building, GASTON pauses to light a
cigarette. He hears Serafine's distant scream, looks towards the building,
and walks away.
cut
to:
EXT. CAFE - NIGHT
Three successive tables of upscale PARISIAN DINERS are gawking at
something. At one table, Inspector Marcel hides behind his menu, and shakes
his head in disdain.
We follow their glances to Andy, greedily licking the last bits of Steak
Tartar off his plate. Amy giggles in amazement as she pours the last from
the bottle of wine. She's a bit drunk- enough to be amused by Andy's
antics.
amy
God. How can you eat like that?
andy
It's all in the tongue. Another bottle?
Amy laughs and nods "yes". JEAN-LUC, 25, a well dressed, powerfully built
Frenchman enters. He kisses Amy on both cheeks, all the while watching Andy
uneasily.
amy
Jean-Luc. You're kinda late sweetie.
jean-luc
I was busy. Is this a friend of yours?
amy
Well, yeah, kinda', but-
andy
We're so much more than friends. We're soul mates, sex
slaves, pen pals, the whole nine yards. Well, nine
yards is a slight exaggeration, but believe me, for a
white boy, I got nothing to be ashamed of.
Amy laughs in mid gulp and wine comes through her nose. Andy looks at
Jean-Luc, who is - of course - pretty steamed.
andy
Hey, I'm kidding... It's a joke! Here, maybe if I say
it in metric.
Jean-Luc grabs Andy by the collar and pulls him to his feet.
jean-luc
Think you're smart, huh?
Amy tries to intervene.
amy
Jean-Luc, don't be a jerk.
She tries to pull his hands off Andy, but Jean-Luc sends her reeling back
with a firm shove.
andy
Hey, look man, she-
Jean-Luc brings his hand back and slaps Andy in the mouth.
jean-luc
Shut up. Why are you Americans always so loud?
andy
I don't know. Maybe it's so we can drown out the sound
of your mother fucking the navy?
Jean-Luc takes a swing at Andy. With amazing reflexes, he dodges it deftly.
Jean-Luc jabs- again Andy avoids it easily. He smiles, impressed with
himself. Jean-Luc is incensed.
He goes for Andy's throat, but Andy catches him by the arm and, with
superhuman strength, FLIPS him head over heels, through the air and -
SMASH! - onto a nearby table.
Andy casually leans past the semi-conscious Jean-Luc and plucks a CHAMPAGNE
BOTTLE out of its ice bucket. The WAITER is about to object, but thinks
better of it. Andy takes Amy by the arm, she grabs the RED WINE BOTTLE, and
they start off away from the cafe.
amy
Wow. You know Kung Fu or something?
andy
(amazed at himself)
Yeah. Apparently.
In the background, Marcel hurries to pay his tab and follow them. He slips
on some of the broken glassware spilled by Jean-Luc's fall, and almost goes
for a tumble himself.
FURTHER DOWN THE STREET
Amy and Andy walk together. She's still giddy.
amy
Ha ha. You were probably right about his mom.
andy
Hope I didn't hurt him too bad.
amy
Who gives a shit? I've had it up to here with arrogant
Frenchmen.
andy
Up to there? Really? I bet I could beat that.
amy
Ha ha! Yeah right, white boy! Ha Ha ha.
(she hiccups)
I think maybe I drank too much.
andy
Ah. The mating call of the blonde. The night is young,
the moon is bright, whataya feel like doing tonight?
amy
I don't know... Surprise me.
He thinks a moment, then puts his arm around her and whispers in her ear.
She squeals with delight.
amy
Are you kidding?! I LOVE Jim Morisson!!
Inspector Marcel, who's eavesdropping from around a nearby corner, rolls
his eyes to heaven. Oh brother. The Doors' "Backdoor Man" kicks loud as we
cut
to:
EXT. PERE LACHAISE - NIGHT
Marcel is hiding behind a grave, spying. His passion for police work has
been reborn, judging from his rapt, totally absorbed stare. He's
watching...
ANDY AND AMY
having extremely hot and primal sex on Jim Morrison's grave, lit by dozens
of flickering candles people have "left for Jim". He pours red wine into
their mouths. Sweat and wine drip off their naked bodies. The sex heats up
to an intense, screaming clim ax. Amy squeals with ecstasy.
amy
My God! You're an animal!
But Andy's still accelerating- transported to another plane. Sweat pours
from his brow. His face contorts with each groan, but now it's hard to tell
if it's from pleasure or pain. His body jerks violently and his skin
suddenly blushes bright red. Amy w inces.
amy
Ahh! Jesus! You're burning hot! What the hell-
andy
AHHHHHHH!
Marcel is a little disconcerted.
MARCEL
(French, to himself)
Alright already, you passed the audition for God's
sakes.
Andy's skin literally glows red, turning his sweat to steam. He leaps off
Amy and disappears into the sprawling cemetery, screaming in agony. Amy
watches him go.
amy
Hey, where are you going!?
Marcel starts off after Andy, taking the wide route around Amy. Andy's
scream echoes through the cemetery. Amy pulls her dress on.
AMY
Creep.
ANDY
red hot (literally), weaves through the tombs, screaming. He comes to a
small courtyard with an ORNATE FOUNTAIN. He dives into the brackish water.
Clouds of steam rise off the water as he thrashes about under the marble
goddess in the center of the fou ntain.
AMY
searches through the graveyard. She's got Andy's clothes.
amy
I don't know what's wrong with you, man, but I got your
pants, so we better talk.
THE FOUNTAIN
Andy's gurgling screams are changing, becoming less human. We catch
glimpses of body parts as they surface from the churning froth- GROTESQUE,
FLAILING LIMBS somewhere in mid-transformation between human and beast.
MARCEL
steps cautiously through the ancient, ornate tombs and mausoleums,
listening to the distant splashing and sporadic inhuman screams. He draws
his gun and loads a cartridge. Suddenly a horrible grunt and loud SMASH
pierce the air. Marcel wheels around an d smacks nose first into a
gravestone.
marcel
Merde!
AMY
in another part of the graveyard, stops in her tracks, listening. Another
SMASH followed by crumbling, and rushing water.
amy
(to herself)
He's gone psycho ballistic. This is bad.
Amy feels something and looks down. There's a stream of water flowing
around her feet. She follows it towards its source and steps into
THE COURTYARD
The fountain has been smashed- the stone rim cracked into bits and the
center statue fallen to the ground. There's no sign of Andy. Amy walks up
to the fountain.
AMY
Oh my God...
She notices something on the ground. It's the STONE GODDESS, smashed into
several pieces. We hear a low growl. Amy looks up, terrified. She scans the
GRAVES around the perimeter of the courtyard. She takes a few tentative
steps backward.
Suddenly a MASSIVE TOMBSTONE is wrenched off its base (most of the ancient
stone markers are eroded and crumbling- many already fallen over). It falls
like a tree, revealing the familiar pair of piercing yellow eyes behind it,
framed by the dim outline of a massive beast. Amy emits an odd, primitive
whine.
amy
Unnnhh...
She runs away from the beast, across the courtyard and disappears into the
graves.
In the DENSE FOREST OF TALL TOMBSTONES, Amy zigs and zags through narrow
spaces, barely wide enough for her slender body to fit through. The camera
CRANES UP.
HIGH ANGLE
Thirty paces behind Amy, pairs of tombstones split apart like jungle
vegetation, crashing thunderously to the ground. The unseen beast's path is
slowed by the monuments, but still follows Amy.
Amy looks back as she runs. She sees the tops of tombstones fall behind
her. She comes to a railing at the top of a fifteen foot wall separating a
LOWER LEVEL of the cemetery. She hangs over the edge and quietly drops.
She runs down a path comes to an intersection where six paths converge. She
looks down each of them, but can't see the outer walls of the cemetery-
just an endless landscape of graves. She sprints down a path and ducks
behind A LARGE CRYPT.
Up on the higher level, the beast howls. She looks up and sees its
silhouette sniffing the air, the full moon looming behind it. She looks up
at the iron door on the crypt. Then she reaches into her purse...
THE BEAST'S POV
Its HEAVY BREATH dominates the soundtrack. It scans the sprawl of graves
from its perch on the hill, sniffing. It locks it's stare on the large
crypt. It sniffs again. With a growl, it leaps over the railing (we stay
with its POV) and hits the ground r unning. It runs up a twisting path,
closing in on THE CRYPT. It arrives at the back of the crypt and circles
it, sniffing. It stops in front of the door.
THE BEAST'S EYES
Narrow and glow with intense predatory focus.
INSIDE THE CRYPT
We're looking at the door. CRASH! It flies open, revealing the snarling
beast, backlit by the moon. It lunges in and stops.
THE BEAST'S POV
Scans back and forth- the crypt is empty. The beast sniffs again and growls
with rage.
AMY
somewhere else in the graveyard, sprays a long blast of perfume into
another crypt, and sneaks into the endless maze of tombs. We hear the
enraged beast smash into another crypt a hundred yards away.
Amy comes to ANOTHER FOUNTAIN and slips into the water, quietly rinsing
herself.
THE BEAST'S POV
smashes into another crypt. Nothing's inside. It backs up and runs to
another crypt. SMASH! Nothing. The growls grow more furious. It crashes
down another door. Nothing.
Amy, dripping wet, pads down a row of ancient family mausoleums. She pauses
as the beast lets loose a horrible howl and topples a monument some
distance away. She tries the heavy iron door on a SMALL GOTHIC MAUSOLEUM.
It opens. She slips inside.
IN THE MAUSOLEUM
Amy crouches under the small portal and STAIN GLASS WINDOW, which depicts
the Virgin Mary. She struggles to quiet her breathing, and listens...
She hears only the trickling water from the nearby fountain. Then... some
crackling twigs...then a SNIFF...another SNIFF, closer. Trembling, Amy
quietly raises herself, peers out the portal and sees
MARCEL
Standing a few paces away, SNIFFING and trying to stem the flow from his
bloody nose.
marcel
Merde...
Amy breaths a sigh of relief. Then-
THE BEAST springs out of the darkness behind Marcel- a blur of eyes, claws,
and teeth- and tackles him to the ground.
IN THE MAUSOLEUM
Amy drops down to the floor, huddled in terror. A GUN SHOT hits the STAIN
GLASS above Amy's head, shattering the Holy Virgin. Another GUN SHOT
followed by a ROAR OF PAIN from the beast. But the pained roar quickly
becomes VICIOUS SNARLING again. There are no more shots, just horrible
snarls, screams, and ripping flesh. BLOOD splatters through the portal and
drips down Amy's face. She hunkers down. Then, the sound of steps going
away, and at last...silence.
Amy waits. We hear only the fountain and another, closer DRIPPING. It's
Amy's wet clothes, still dripping into A PUDDLE on the floor, which is
dripping UNDER THE IRON DOOR, into a small STREAM flowing on the otherwise
dry STONE WALKWAY, away from the M ausoleum.
In the mausoleum, Amy listens a bit more. Satisfied the coast is clear, she
quietly turns to the iron door, grasps the handle and slowly turns it. But
before it clicks open-
RRRIIP!! The iron door is wrenched out of Amy's hand and
off it's hinges, revealing
THE BEAST, up close and in clear view for the first time- it's truly
awesome- a huge leering mouth full of razor sharp teeth, a hulking body
built like a wolf but as massive as a bear, and vaguely humanoid paws with
big hook claws. There's a bloody FLE SH WOUND in its right shoulder.
It snarls savagely at Amy. She chokes out a little cry. The beast lunges.
OUTSIDE THE MAUSOLEUM - HIGH ANGLE
The beast's powerful hind section sticks out of the mausoleum, kicking a
bit as it rips into its prey. The graveyard sprawls endlessly under the big
moon, which hangs low in the sky.
FADE
TO
BLACK.
EXT. TERRENCE'S APT. BUILDING COURTYARD - MORNING
We hear Lulu the poodle's bell jingling behind a bush. Madame Chretein
pokes her head out her door and whistles for Lulu. The bell keeps jingling,
but Lulu doesn't come. She calls its name. It still won't come. She steps
out into the courtyard in her b athrobe and walks towards the bush, calling
for the dog, annoyed as its disobedience. She looks behind the bush and
sees- A CROW picking at the scant remains of Lulu, ringing the collar bell
with its beak. She SCREAMS.
INT. TERRENCE'S APT. - SAME TIME
Andy wakes up in a cold sweat, naked on his Uncle's couch. The phone is
ringing. He looks disoriented, confused. We hear Madame Chretien screaming
in the background.
andy
Jesus...
He sits up to get the phone and becomes dizzy- he grabs his head. He
reaches for the phone and winces- there's a crusted over FLESH WOUND on his
right shoulder. He picks up the phone.
andy
Hello?
serafine (O.S.)
(anxious, concerned)
Are you okay?
ANDY
No, I don't think so... I was having a nightmare. Wait
a second...
serafine (o.s.)
Where did you go last night? What did you do?
ANDY
I don't... I... I can't remember...
serafine (O.S.)
Listen, I'm coming over. Don't go anywhere. Stay right
there.
She hangs up. Andy is very confused. He sees the front door- it's ajar and
the door frame has been splintered where the deadbolt sits. Stunned, he
stands up, only to double over with a wave of nausea. He covers his mouth
and runs stooped over to the ba throom.
He leans over the toilet and vomits. After a few heaves his body relaxes
and he catches his breath. He opens his eyes and looks down in the bowl-
horror and disbelief sweep over his face as he focuses on:
A HUMAN EYEBALL
staring back at him from the bloody water. The iris is a familiar shade of
sparkling blue...
ANDY
Oh no...no...
The doorbell rings. He leaps up, flushes the toilet and runs out of the
bathroom, still naked, to find himself in full view of Leduc and two
UNIFORMED COPS standing in the open door. One of the cops is examining the
splintered door frame.
Leduc looks to be in an even worse mood than usual. His English is rough,
but firm.
LEDUC
Get dressed.
cut
to:
INT. POLICE MORGUE - MORNING
We're close on a metal body drawer. A TECHNICIAN pulls it open, revealing a
severed human foot, nothing else.
Leduc, Andy, and the technician stand by the drawer in this dreary room.
Leduc never takes his eyes off Andy's face.
leduc
You recognize her?
andy
What?!
Leduc looks down, sees the foot, and barks at the technician.
leduc
(French)
That's the wrong one!
The technician checks his clipboard and tries another drawer. It contains a
rotting ARM. Leduc curses under his breath. He and the technician start
opening drawers at random, peeking in, then slamming them shut.
andy
(nervous)
You, uh, you want to tell me what this is about?
Leduc ignores him, continuing to open drawers. The technician appears to
have found the right one at the far end.
technician
Inspector! C'est le voici.
A little exasperated, Leduc and Andy go over to see what the technician has
found. Once again, Leduc gives him the nod. He opens the drawer to reveal
AMY'S MANGLED CORPSE
It's badly lacerated. Parts of her throat and midriff are missing, and she
has only one eye. Andy gasps in horror.
leduc
We know you were with her.
andy
Oh shit... No...
leduc
That's not all...
(he reaches for another drawer above Amy's)
Marcel- Officer Boulard was
following you.
andy
Oh no... no....
He pulls open the drawer to reveal MARCEL'S MANGLED CORPSE. There's a
gaping hole in his midsection.
leduc
He was a good man. Now his wife is a widow.
andy
(overcome)
This is.. it's like a sick joke, I-
Leduc grabs Andy by the collar and slams him against the wall
leduc
This is not a joke! Not a dream! These people are dead
and--
TAP TAP... Through the small window in the door he sees CHIEF PICARD, his
superior, trying to get his attention.
leduc
Merde... Wait here. When I return you tell me about
last night, huh?
andy
But.... I don't remember anything, I swear...
leduc
(sternly)
I leave these open. Maybe something comes back to you.
He leaves the room. The technician leaves too. Andy's alone, staring at the
corpses. Through the window, he can see Leduc arguing loudly with his
superior... Andy tries to breath deeply, calm down. He turns back to look
at Amy's corpse. Suddenly, her eyes - well, her eye - snaps open and looks
straight at him!
amy
Thanks for the lovely evening, shithead!
andy
Aaaaa! Jesus! This isn't happening. I'm still
hallucinating. Shit!
Andy storms around in a fit of disbelief.
amy
You really know how to show a girl a good time, don't
you?
OUTSIDE THE ROOM
Leduc and the Chief have stopped their argument briefly to watch Andy
stomping around, gesturing wildly. They resume their argument.
chief
(French)
Okay. So he's weird. Maybe on drugs. Still, that's not-
leduc
I'm telling you. It's not drugs. It's something more.
Someth-
chief
Don't give me your black magic bullshit! Seven
mutilations in forty eight hours and all you find is a
scrawny American boy? Do you have a motive?
(Leduc hesitates)
Do you have a weapon? Or do you want me to believe he
did it with his own two hands?
leduc
(exasperated)
I told you. These murders are not normal.
The Chief rolls his eyes, "here we go again" style. Meanwhile,
INSIDE THE ROOM
Andy is still pacing the room madly.
amy
Face it boyfriend. This is really happening.
andy
No it isn't! You're dead!
Marcel comes to life and peeks over the top of his drawer.
marcel
I'm afraid she's not so lucky. She's undead. And so am
I.
andy
Aaaaa!!! Get the fuck away from me!
marcel
What are you so damn angry about? Did somebody turn
into a wild beast and rip your intestines out? Huh?
aMy
I spent four years on StairMaster for this bod and you
rip through it like a pork chop. Thanks.
Andy blinks hard. Every time he opens his eyes, Marcel and Amy are still
there, hideous as ever, staring at him.
andy
Okay... dead or undead... what do you want from me?
AMY
A-duh... You're a werewolf. And we, as your victims,
have to walk the earth until your curse is lifted.
andy
Uh huh... And, supposing I believed that, what could I
do about it?
amy/marcel
(together)
Kill yourself.
amy
It's the only way.
marcel
It's not so hard. I used to think about it all the
time. Maybe you should meet my wife.
Andy buries his head in his hands.
OUTSIDE THE ROOM
chief
Enough. Cut him loose.
leduc
I can't! At midnight tonight, he will kill again. It's
crazy!
chief
Are you crazy? We have nothing. Let him go, then watch
him. If you're right, you can pick him up at midnight.
Or maybe he'll lead you to the others. Just let him go.
The chief leaves. Leduc scowls. He looks in at Andy, still gesticulating
wildly and talking to thin air. Leduc reenters the room and looks at Andy
bitterly.
leduc
You're free to go.
Andy looks from Leduc to the drawers and back again.
andy
Me?
Leduc gives him an angry stare.
cut
to:
EXT. ILE DE LA CITE - DAY
Andy walks past Notre Dame, flanked by Marcel and Amy.
marcel
Hanging is nice. Never goes out of style. What about
hare-kare- a taste of the Orient? But no! You're in
Paris! Try the Guillotine! There's one in the Louvre!
AMY
I'd use pills. They're painless.
MARCEL
Oh give me a break! He could use pills back in America!
Why not get a little culture?
Andy stops in his tracks- overwhelmed, desperate.
ANDY
Look, I didn't mean to hurt anybody... God, I didn't
mean to... to...
AMY
Rip my face off? Hey, we all make mistakes. Hell, I
didn't mean to sleep with you on the first night,
especially without a condom. But I did, and now I'm
paying the price.
Andy slumps over, beaten. Amy puts her arm around him. Marcel pats him on
the back. They start him walking along.
marcel
Let's face it. It's a, how do you say... mother-fucker.
But we're all in it together. That's why we're trying
to help you.
amy
Exactly.
HOOOOONNNNK!! Andy looks up to see a speeding bus about to flatten him. Amy
and Marcel have lead him into traffic. He jumps back and the bus just
grazes him. Of course, it passes right through Amy and Marcel. They're
still standing there when it's gone .
marcel
Merde! Just missed!
amy
(to Andy)
Uhh! Would you die already!
Andy's adrenaline is pumping. There's still some fight in him.
ANDY
Fuck you! If I'm gonna kill myself I'll do it when I'm
good and ready!
You can go to hell!
marcel
No we can't. That's the problem. God knows it would
beat hanging around with you!
Andy socks Marcel and breaks his jaw- off. It skitters off into the street.
He punches him in the gut- SKLURCH! His fist gets stuck in the tangle of
Marcel's abdominal organs.
While Andy tries to pull his hand free, Amy rears back and kicks him in the
balls. He wrenches his hand loose and staggers back, clutching his groin.
ANDY
Hey, you can't kick me! You're an apparition!
AMY
What, all of a sudden you got a degree in supernatural
law?
Marcel fits his jaw back into place.
marcel
Call it the power of suggestion.
He socks Andy in the mouth. Andy shakes it off, rips Marcel's arm off,
bashes him in the face with it, then turns around and uses it to beat Amy
over the head. Meanwhile...
IN AN UNMARKED POLICE CAR PARKED A HALF BLOCK AWAY
RENE and FRANCOIS, the two cops who accompanied Le Duc to Andy's apartment,
watch Andy whirl around the sidewalk, swinging wildly at the air, reacting
to invisible blows, and cursing unseen enemies.
RENE
(French)
You know, in his own way, he's probably happier than
any of us.
Francois nods philosophically. Meanwhile, back in Andy's reality...
Marcel has got him in a full Nelson and Amy is punching him in the stomach.
He bucks forward, wrenching both of Marcel's arms off and slams them
together onto Amy's head, knocking her down. Andy waves Marcel's arms in
triumph.
andy
Ha-ha!
amy
Oh, big man. You can beat up a couple of cadavers. Well
let me make something real clear, asshole. If you don't
kill yourself, at midnight tonight you're gonna
transform and murder innocent people!
MARCEL
What are you going to be, McDermott? A coward and a
murderer? Or a man, with guts enough to do the right
thing?
The truth of this question hits home with Andy. A heavy expression falls
over his face, one of grave sadness, but also inner dignity. He breathes
deeply and exhales.
andy
Alright. Let me write a letter.
MARCEL
Good man. Now can I have my arms back?
cut
to:
EXT. NEWS STAND - DAY
Music cue: Thelonius Monk's "Round Midnight". The NEWS STAND MAN hands Andy
some stamps. Andy sticks them on a letter addressed to Mr. and Mrs. William
McDermott. He starts walking away but a postcard in the display rack
catches his eye- it's Rodin's " The Kiss". He looks at it sadly.
A MAILBOX
Andy drops the letter in the box. He walks to a pay phone on the sidewalk.
Amy and Marcel lean on a nearby building, watching Andy dial. Terrence's
answering machine picks up.
terrEnce's machine (o.s.)
(French)
Hey. This is Terrence. Please leave a message at the
beep...
(CONTINUED...)
TERRENCE'S MACHINE (CONT'd)
(English)
In other words, this is Terrence McDermott. Please
leave a message.
(it BEEPS)
Andy
Hey, Serafine, I hope you're checking these. It's Andy.
So I guess you knew what was wrong with me yesterday.
Unfortunately it took me until today to realize it, and
because of that two people are dead. If you didn't
know, well, shit, it's irrel evant now. I know what I
have to do, but before I do it I just wanted to say...
I don't know what would've happened with us, but I'm
really glad I had the chance to know you even if it was
only a couple of days and...I don't know... I probably
wouldn't ha ve the nerve to say this if I was gonna see
you again, but I think if I had the chance to kiss you
one more time I would've fallen totally in love with
you.
INT. TERRENCE'S APT. - SAME TIME
The door opens, Serafine enters and runs to the machine.
andy (On machine)
Oh well... Bye Serafine.
Serafine snatches the phone off the receiver just as Andy hangs up. She
gets a dial tone. She's very upset.
serafine
Merde!
ON THE SIDEWALK
Amy and Marcel watch Andy hang up in the phone booth. The emotion of the
moment is getting to Amy.
amy
Geez, I feel bad for him. Maybe we should've told him
abou-
marcel
Are you crazy!? You know that's totally impractical.
Besides, like the Bible says...
(he sticks his finger in her
empty eye socket)
An eye for an eye...
Amy nods. Andy exits the phone booth and approaches them. "Round Midnight"
fades out.
andy
Let's do it.
cut
to:
EXT. ESPLANADE - DAY
Andy drains the last of a bottle of Jack Daniel's and wobbles along,
totally smashed and a bit wistful, with Amy and Marcel in tow.
andy
What the hell, lots of my heroes killed themselves.
Hemingway, Van Gogh... um...Herve Villachaise...
marcel
But this is class kid, all the way. What a way to go.
amy
You got style, babe. That's why I went for you in the
first place.
WIDE SHOT
They're approaching the Eiffel tower.
andy
When they ask how I died, just tell 'em... Ei-ffel.
THE COPS
sit in their car, watching Andy buy his ticket and get into the elevator.
francois
(French)
Should we follow him up?
rene
Well, he's gotta come down some time. Fuck it, let's
grab a bite.
francois
Good thinking.
cut
to:
INT. PATISSERIE - DAY
It's a typical Parisian bakery, stuffed to the ceiling with an unbelievable
array of the finest, most delectable pastries. Rene steps to the counter.
rene
Vous avez les doughnuts?
cut
to:
EXT. EIFFEL TOWER OBSERVATION DECK - DAY
We're looking at the elevator doors. They open. Andy strides out onto the
deck, through the milling TOURISTS, flanked by Marcel and Amy.
ANDY
There's only one thing certain in life- each of us owes
God a death.
Proud, determined, Andy arrives at the six foot wire mesh fence and quickly
scales it. Amy and Marcel follow. Nearby tourists are alarmed and a clamor
of concern rises up. Those with camcorders jockey for position.
andy (cont'd)
All we can do is make sure it's a good one.
Andy gets over the fence and stands on the small ledge. Amy and Marcel join
him. The tourists gasp. Andy glances down at THE PRECIPITOUS DROP. He turns
suddenly pale.
andy
Shit. I feel sick.
marcel
Don't worry. In a few seconds you won't feel a thing.
andy
Puking on yourself in midair is not a good death.
AMY
Look, the more you think about it, the harder it is.
MARCEL
Just like sex with my wife.
amy
The key is don't look down.
marcel
Also like sex with my wife.
AMY
(to Marcel)
Would you shut up?
Andy looks woozy. Tourists are trying to dissuade him in Italian, Japanese,
Icelandic, etc. Marcel tries a new tack.
marcel
Tell you what, we'll jump together.
amy
(picking up Marcel's lead)
Sure. We wouldn't ask you to do anything we wouldn't
do. Now give me your hand...that's it...
Amy coaxes Andy's hand off the fence. The crowd gasps. Andy grits his teeth
and focuses again.
amy/marcel
One... two... three... JUMP!
They jump, but Andy stops short- GASTON is leaning over the fence and has
Andy by his shirt.
gaston
You're not getting off so easy.
AMY AND MARCEL
Plummet through the air. They look back at Andy, annoyed.
marcel
Merde! I can't believe this!
AMY
You try to be a good sport, and look what happens.
SPLAT!! Their bodies split into several pieces and squirt out on the
pavement into two radial patterns, each about ten feet in diameter. Repair
will take a while this time.
marcel'S HEAD
Huh. Galileo was right.
amy'S HEAD
Who?
GASTON
has Andy by the arm and is trying to pull up to "safety". The tourists
cheer him on. Andy is resisting.
GASTON
Where's the ADM? Where did your uncle put it?
andy
Man, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
gaston
Bullshit! Your uncle told you!
andy
My uncle's in a coma you moron!
GASTON
Before the coma!
ANDY
He didn't tell me anything. All he said was Saint
Severin...
Andy swallows the word "Severin", remembering something as he speaks.
Suddenly wheels are turning in his head.
GASTON
Saint Severin? The church? So you know all about the
ADM!
(Andy reacts to the
word "church?")
Where is it! Tell me! Tell me or else!
andy
Or else what? You'll kill me?
gaston
No. But I'll kill your fucking girlfriend!
andy
You'll never get the chance.
Andy pulls backward as hard as he can, jerking Gaston off balance. He's
trying to pull them both to their deaths, but Gaston grabs a STEEL POST
with his free hand.
Andy hangs below the ledge, pulling Gaston's arm down with all his new
superhuman strength. But Gaston pulls back just as hard. Andy sees The
STEEL POST start to bend. He looks into Gaston's FERAL STARE and
understands...
andy
It was you! You son-of-a-bitch! You got my uncle!
The POST keeps bending- its welds won't hold long.
gaston
Don't be an idiot! I'm not the only one. If I die,
Serafine dies!
andy
Bullshit! You're bluffing!
gaston
What, you think Claude hangs out underground cause he
likes to dance?
This gives Andy pause.
andy
Claude...?
gaston
And you call me a moron...
Andy stops pulling. He looks uncertain- maybe Gaston is right... But then-
SNAP! The post, which has bent all the way over into a "J" shape, snaps its
weld. Gaston and Andy plummet towards the ground nine hundred feet below.
The tourists gasp.
Using the bent pole as a hook, Gaston snares a HORIZONTAL ANTENNA which
sticks out of the tower about fifty feet under the observation deck. He
stops short and dangles there, still gripping Andy by the arm. The tourists
CHEER. Meanwhile, nine hundred f eet below...
RENE AND FRANCOIS
lean on their car, munching doughnuts. The tower looms behind them, and we
can just make out the dangling figures at the top. Rene reaches into the
paper doughnut bag and comes up short.
rene
(French)
Oh! You ate the last jelly!
UP ON THE ANTENNA
Gaston's grip is firm. They'll have to climb up the iron cross beams to the
observation deck.
gaston
The ADM. Let's go.
andy
Yeah, okay. Just gimme a minute to freshen up.
cut
to:
ON THE OBSERVATION DECK
Andy and Gaston climb up onto the deck. The tourists applaud and cheer for
Gaston- the "hero".
TOURISTS
Bravo! Magnifique! Wunderbah!
Gaston can't resist posing as the cameras flash- he sucks in his cheeks,
purses his lips and does his best "Mickey Rourke". Andy looks at him,
incredulous.
andy
I must be in Paris. Even the werewolves are poseurs.
cut
to:
INT. TERRENCE'S APT. BUILDING
Gaston and Andy endure the elevator ride together.
andy
So, if you and the nutty professor are both werewolves,
what do you want with drugs? You like seeing lots of
pretty colors when you're tearing people's throats out?
gaston
If you know about the church, why ask such stupid
questions?
They step out of the elevator and up to the apartment door. Andy takes his
key ring out and tries the lock. The key won't turn. Andy jiggles it.
andy
Damn...
He tries another key. It doesn't work. He jiggles it, rattling the door on
its hinges.
gaston
What's the problem?
andy
Hey, I'm new here, what do you want?
Andy tries a third key. No good. More jiggling.
gaston
Fucking cretin...
The fourth key works. Andy pushes the door open. Gaston shoves him in
roughly and steps in after him.
INT. TERRENCE'S APARTMENT
Gaston shuts the door behind him and walks over to Andy, who scans the room
nervously, unsure of his next move.
gaston
Where is it? Hurry up!
Andy's eyes come to rest on the end table drawer, where Serafine had put
the gun before... He advances toward it.
andy
(patronizing)
Okay, okay. I got your magic medicine right here,
dogboy. Just-
Gaston grabs Andy's hand before he opens the drawer.
gaston
Do you think I'm an idiot?
andy
(beat...incredulous)
Sure. Don't you?
He shoves Andy away and opens the drawer... no gun. They hear a pistol COCK
behind them.
serafine
Looking for this?
Gaston turns and sees Serafine aiming the gun at him. With incredible speed
he leaps for the window as Serafine fires. BANG!! The bullet catches him in
the arm as he dives through the glass. BANG!! She fires again and misses.
Gaston lands in the courtyard, three stories below, and runs off with a
slight limp. BANG! BANG! Serafine fires blindly into the courtyard after
him, overwrought with anger. Andy puts a hand to her arm, and she lowers
the gun. They embrace tightly, des perately. Serafine can't keep from
crying. Andy comforts her.
andy
Hey, hey... shhh. It's okay now... La Femme Nikita
strikes again.
He wipes away her tears and she smiles at his joke.
serafine
Andy, I thought... I heard your message and... thank
God you're alright.
She embraces him again, but Andy gently frees himself.
andy
I'm not alright. We both know that. The only reason I'm
here now is to warn you. You're still in danger. Gaston
told me that Claude has got the curse too. He's a
werewolf.
serafine
I know. He told me.
andy
What?! He told you? When?
Andy hears a familiar voice behind him.
claude
Two weeks ago.
Andy spins around to see Claude standing by the hallway to Terrence's
office. Andy reaches for the gun and points it at him.
andy
You two faced bastard. I knew you were full of shit.
serafine
Andy! No!
She puts herself between Claude and the gun barrel. Andy pushes her out of
the way.
andy
Serafine! Move! Don't you see, he's just after the
drug, that ADM stuff. He's using you to get to it, just
like he used Uncle Terrence.
Claude approaches Andy, speaking calmly.
claude
You're exactly right, Andy. I enlisted both Serafine
and your uncle to obtain ADM. And now I'm counting on
your assistance too.
andy
Why the fuck would I do that?
serafine
Because, Andy. It's a cure.
andy
A cure?
claude
A cure. With ADM we can wipe out lycanthropy, the curse
of the werewolf, forever.
Andy is shocked, stunned, skeptical. He bluffs with the only card he's got.
andy
Is that so? Maybe we should go to Saint Severin church
and make sure, huh?
Claude's face changes. He's surprised.
claude
Ah, you've done your homework... Excellent. Get your
coat. Leave the gun with Serafine. She can keep
searching. We don't have much time.
Andy and Serafine share a heavy look. He hands her the gun.
serafine
Andy... I should never have let you go underground. I'm
sorry...
andy
(shaking his head)
I had to be a damn Hemingway hero. Well I'll tell ya,
the old man and the sea didn't go through half this
shit.
cut
to:
EXT. SAINT SEVERIN CHURCH - EVENING
Sheets of rain crash down over this ancient gothic church. Sharing an
umbrella, Andy and Claude walk inside.
INT. UNMARKED POLICE CAR
Parked across the street, Rene and Francois watch them enter the church.
Rene talks into a cellular phone.
rene
(French)
He's going into Saint Severin church with Professor
Claude Roussel.
INT. LEDUC'S OFFICE - SAME TIME
leduc
(on phone)
Really... Okay, keep checking in.
Leduc hangs up and thinks a moment. He turns the page of the old book on
his desk, revealing an old woodcut illustration of a policeman being
attacked by a werewolf. He frowns.
INT. SAINT SEVERIN CHURCH - EVENING
An evening mass is in progress. The boy's choir fills the church with a
solemn hymn. Andy follows Claude to a narrow staircase. An OLD WOMAN gives
them the evil eye and crosses herself as they pass. Claude and Andy go up
the stairs and arrive at a balc ony under a magnificent wall of ancient
STAINED GLASS. One of the panels catches Andy's eye.
andy
Whoa...
THE PANEL shows a weird medieval ritual- a man draining blood from another
man's neck into a goblet. ANOTHER PANEL features a pentagram. ANOTHER PANEL
shows a huge werewolf eating a monk under a frowning sun. All the
transcriptions are in Latin. Claude signals Andy to follow him.
claude
The panels that concern us are over here.
(he directs Andy to a group of panels)
I'll translate the Latin.
A PANEL shows a different werewolf, tied down, being stabbed in the heart
by a knight under a frowning moon.
claude
"Then Simon did slay the demon spirit, the same as had
made him unclean,"
THE NEXT PANEL- the knight now holds the beast's heart aloft, impaled on
his dagger. Where the beast was, a man lies bleeding in the background.
claude (cont'd)
"and Simon did cut out the heart of the beast which
once dead, regained the shape of a man"
THE NEXT PANEL shows the beast's heart on a platter. The Hero is sitting at
a table, cutting into the heart with a knife, as if he's about to eat it.
CLAUDE (CONT'D)
"Simon ate of the heart of the beast and his soul was
cleansed."
(he turns to Andy)
These pictures are not just myth, Andy. The sc