T H E C U R S E written & directed by JACQUELINE GARRY Registered WGA East #118420-00 (c) 1998 Jacqueline Garry ______________________________________________________________________ T H E C U R S E EXT. STREET - DUSK FRIDA and JENNIFER walk down the sidewalk together. Frida is mousy and frumpy. She wears glasses and has her hair tightly pulled back into a ponytail. She wears baggy drab clothes -- has no fashion sense and wears flat "sensible" shoes. Jennifer, on the other hand, is trendy, stylish and sexy. She's a head-turner. Men check out Jennifer and ignore Frida. FRIDA I have cramps. I can't believe I let you talk me into this. JENNIFER Come on, we've been double dating since the fourth grade. FRIDA Yeah even then look what happened: Michael Mortenson kissed you and Billy Sullivan threw a worm at me. JENNIFER Well that's not going to happen tonight. George said Carlton's a nice guy. FRIDA Translation: a total geek. JENNIFER Anything's better than Mark. FRIDA My shrink says he's not so bad. JENNIFER Your shrink always gives you bad advice. He only hears what you choose to tell him. Mark's an asshole, he cheated, he borrowed money and never paid it back, he's never had a regular job. FRIDA He's a very talented musician. JENNIFER Every woman at some point has to date a musician. I wish you'd get rid of Mark for good. Every time you break up you see him more than when you were going out. FRIDA I guess I have a weakness for him. It's those big brown Bambi eyes. JENNIFER So don't look in his eyes. Two guys passing by on the street check out Jennifer. One of them stops in front of her. GUY That's the girl who should be havin' my baby. JENNIFER Yeah, that's likely. She rolls her eyes and walks around the gawking guy. Frida and Jennifer continue walking in silence for a moment. FRIDA I wonder what it's like being you. Being noticed all the time. JENNIFER People notice you Frida. Another guy gawking at Jennifer, isn't watching where he's going and bumps smack into Frida. FRIDA Oh, uh, sorry. The guy, still not noticing Frida, keeps walking and turns back around to check out Jennifer's ass. Jennifer and Frida turn a corner and keep walking. Both a bit embarrassed, for different reasons, at what just happened. They head into a bar/restaurant. Pan up to the name of the restaurant. It's called "Coyote Ugly Saloon." INT. RESTAURANT/TABLE - NIGHT Jennifer sits between GEORGE and CARLTON, who both lean in, hanging on her every word. They're all having steak. JENNIFER So I asked the bartender what "coyote ugly" meant. It's like the "bagger" system. You know, a two- bagger -- someone so ugly that you need two bags -- one bag to put on their head and another one in case it blows off. Or a three-bagger... GEORGE Two bags for them, and one bag for your head in case her two fall off. Jennifer, George and Carlton laugh. JENNIFER But coyote ugly... well it's so totally offensive... it's when a guy wakes up with a girl sleeping on his arm. He looks over, and she's so ugly that he chews through his own arm to get away from her. Carlton and George crack up. Too much. PULL BACK to reveal Frida, also sitting at the table, though a bit apart from the other three, picking meekly at her salad. Jennifer looks over and sees Frida's not having a good time. JENNIFER Have you heard of that Frida? Frida looks up from her plate of leaves. FRIDA Sorry? I guess I wasn't listening. I just have really bad PMS. A total mood killer. Jennifer, George and Carlton just stare at Frida. Jennifer puts her fork down and clears her throat. JENNIFER Uh, Frida... sorry about the steak house. It's Carlton's favorite. CARLTON How come you're a vegetarian? FRIDA When I was a kid, we couldn't eat meat on Fridays. I loved Fridays because of that. Now I can't stand the thought of eating bloody flesh. Jennifer, George and Carlton look down at their rare steaks. Suddenly they don't look so great. INT. RESTAURANT/BATHROOM - NIGHT Jennifer and Frida are in neighboring stalls. We see only their feet below the stalls and panties around their ankles. Jennifer's panties are red lace; Frida's are white cotton. FRIDA He hasn't said one word to me. JENNIFER Maybe he's just shy. FRIDA My date always pays more attention to you than to me. JENNIFER Frida, I don't mean this as a criticism, but you might not want to talk about PMS around men. FRIDA Sorry. It's just so bad lately. You're so lucky you never get PMS. JENNIFER I get a little bloated sometimes. FRIDA I'd kill for just a little bloated. We hear a toilet FLUSH. INT. RESTAURANT/TABLE - NIGHT George and Carlton are sitting at the booth, waiting for the women to return from the bathroom. GEORGE It all starts with them going to the bathroom together. CARLTON That many women in one place -- nothing good can come from that. GEORGE Sorry about Frida. She's been friends with Jen forever. CARLTON What's with her? If they're not bleeding they're PMSing. If they're not PMSing, they're warning you about the impending doom. If you're lucky, you get a sane person one week a month. Then you gotta date three or four women just to get some normalcy in your life. They laugh. GEORGE I'm lucky Jen's not like that. CARLTON I don't believe in PMS. Women made it up just so they can be bitchy. GEORGE My brother has an answer to PMS. A-S-S: Abundant Sperm Syndrome. A man gets sperm build-up, and if his woman isn't givin' it to 'em, he's gotta get it elsewhere. CARLTON Yeah and when your woman says you're an ass, say yes, I have Abundant Sperm Syndrome. They both laugh. INT. RESTAURANT/BATHROOM - NIGHT Jennifer and Frida are now in front of the mirror. Jennifer fixes her make-up while Frida watches her. ECU of Jennifer putting lipstick on in slow motion from Frida's POV. Jennifer smacks her lips in a sexy way when she's done. Frida avoids looking at herself in the mirror. FRIDA I always say the wrong thing. I shouldn't have come. Frida catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. FRIDA I'm coyote ugly. Jennifer looks at Frida through the mirror. JENNIFER How about I give you a make-over? You'll feel better about yourself. You're actually pretty, you're just not bringing it out. FRIDA You're just saying that. Jennifer squints at Frida for a closer look. She pulls Frida's hair out of the ponytail and tries to fluff it up. She takes off Frida's glasses. JENNIFER Do you really need these? FRIDA Only to see. JENNIFER Can't you get contacts? FRIDA No, it grosses me out even thinking of putting something in my eye. JENNIFER Try to get through dinner without them. You have beautiful eyes. She snaps open Frida's purse and drops the glasses inside. Frida looks at herself in the mirror. We see her POV and it's out of focus. INT. RESTAURANT/TABLE - NIGHT Jennifer and Frida rejoin Carlton and George at the table. From Frida's POV things look blurry. She stumbles as she sits down. She squints, hoping things will come back in focus. CARLTON You two must be in sync. JENNIFER Excuse me? GEORGE He was saying that when women are close friends they get their periods at the same time. JENNIFER (sarcastically) Yeah and when we're mad at each other we're out of sync. It only works if you're on good terms. FRIDA Or if there's a full moon. JENNIFER Or if your boyfriend's an asshole. She elbows George in the stomach. Frida tries to take a sip from her drink, but because she can't see well she knocks it over. Everyone stands up and it's a huge ordeal. FRIDA I'm so sorry! I'm such a clutz. She fishes in her purse for her glasses and puts them on as Jennifer helps her wipe up the spilled drink. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Frida's apartment is neat and conservatively decorated. She's got some film posters on the wall. Frida, in a big puffy bathrobe with bearclaw slippers, lounges on her sofa. Sammy, a black cat, sits on her lap purring as Frida reads a script. She nibbles on a chocolate bar. From the way Frida shakes her head and flips through the pages of the script, we can tell it's awful. INT. FRIDA'S OFFICE - DAY Frida sits at a claustrophobic cubicle. There's a small stack of screenplays sitting in front of her. Frida's on the phone. FRIDA Yes, I do think it's important to tell the Mother Teresa story... but no way can I pitch that to my boss. MAN (ON PHONE) Why the hell not? FRIDA It won't get the ratings. He only wants "women in jeopardy" stories. MAN (ON PHONE) How about if Mother Teresa's being stalked by the Pope? FRIDA Only if Jane Seymour plays Mother Teresa and Richard Chamberlain plays the Pope. It's just not for us. I'm sorry. Good luck with it. Frida hears the phone slam down and a dialtone. She hangs up just as her boss, MR. GRANT, barges in and barks at her. MR. GRANT The Nielson's? FRIDA On your desk. MR. GRANT Script coverage? FRIDA On your desk. MR. GRANT Coffee and... FRIDA Your desk. Mr. Grant abruptly turns and heads back into his office. FRIDA There was a script I wanted to talk to you about... I thought maybe... She gets up with a script. As she does, she spills her coffee all over the desk. FRIDA ... I could produce it. Mr. Grant ignores her and slams the door to his office. Frida wipes up the spilled coffee with the script. INT. SHRINK'S OFFICE - DAY Frida's at her SHRINK's office. FRIDA I had a dream last night, that I was a doormat. CUT TO: EXT. FRONT DOOR - DAY Frida lies on her back outside the front door of a house, like a welcome mat. People walk over her. We see from her POV: people stepping over her and wiping their shoes on her. BACK TO SHRINK'S OFFICE The shrink makes a note. SHRINK And what do you think this means? Frida stares at the shrink for a second, surprised he doesn't get such an obvious reference. FRIDA That I'm a doormat of course. The shrink makes more notes. SHRINK Oh, I see... interesting theory. EXT. PARK - DAY Jennifer and Frida sit on a bench surrounded by shopping bags. JENNIFER Okay, just one more stop and you'll be all set. Victoria's Secret. FRIDA What do I need overpriced fancy underwear for? Shouldn't a guy have already decided that he likes me before he sees me in lingerie? JENNIFER It's not about him seeing you in it. It's how you feel. You'll feel sexy in lingerie and it'll show. It's an inner thing. FRIDA I don't know. JENNIFER There's a sale. It's such a nice place -- classical music, relaxing atmosphere. You deserve to pamper yourself. Come on, it can't hurt. INT. VICTORIA'S SECRET - DAY Chaos. Hardly the "relaxed atmosphere" Jennifer described. Though there is indeed classical music playing. CUT TO an overhead shot of a huge circular bin of women's underpants and another bin of bras. All different colors. Various women's hands pick frantically through the bins, looking for the right size and color. Sometimes hands grab at the same one simultaneously. The atmosphere seems hectic. WOMAN 1 Give me that. You ain't a D cup. WOMAN 2 If you're a D cup, I'm Pamela Anderson. WOMAN 3 Is that a medium? WOMAN 1 Why do they have large thongs? Anyone in a large ain't gonna be wearin' no thong. FRIDA Where are all the mediums? JENNIFER Frida, grab that red one. Jennifer's finger points to a red panty and Frida snatches it and gives it to her. WOMAN 2 Large, small. No fucking mediums. More and more hands pick through the bras and panties, with increasing fervor. Frida's hand grabs a pair of blue panties. FRIDA Jennifer, I got a medium! As Frida pulls the pair of panties out of the pile, she realizes an OLIVE-SKINNED WOMAN is grabbing the other end of the panties. They have a bit of a tug of war over it. OLIVE WOMAN That's mine! FRIDA No I had it first. The tug of war continues. Frida and the Olive Woman both refuse to let go. It looks like they're about to rip when the Olive Woman's head comes into frame -- the back of her head fills the frame with brunette curls. Frida screams. FRIDA OUCH! EXT. STREET - DAY Frida and Jennifer walk down the sidewalk with Victoria's Secret shopping bags among others. FRIDA Can you believe she fuckin' bit me? JENNIFER And she got the medium. FRIDA Even on sale that stuff's a fortune. I worked all week to pay for a bra. Frida looks at her wrist, which is beginning to swell. FRIDA I think she broke the skin. JENNIFER What a bitch. You should see a doctor. That can be dangerous. George bit me once and I had to go to the emergency room. FRIDA George bit you? JENNIFER I kind of asked him to. We were, you know... he got a little carried away... Frida looks at Jennifer uncomfortably. Jennifer smiles to herself, reminiscing. INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY Frida sits, wearing a white hospital gown, on an examining table. She's bored as there isn't much to look at and it's cold in there -- especially in the skimpy gown. She goes to a mirror and puts on chapstick. She smacks her lips as Jennifer had in after putting on lipstick. Suddenly the door opens and nearly hits her. Frida backs up, embarrassed, as a male DOCTOR in a white coat walks in. He barely looks at Frida and stares at his clipboard. DOCTOR A bite... Where'd you get bitten? FRIDA At Victoria's Secret. The doctor looks up from his clipboard, confused. FRIDA There was a sale. DOCTOR I mean where on your body? FRIDA Oh, on my wrist. She holds it up for him to see. He takes a look at it. DOCTOR A dog at Victoria's Secret? FRIDA No, it was another woman. The doctor seems skeptical. He examines her wrist closer. DOCTOR This doesn't look human. Did she wear dentures or... damn this is the oddest bite I've ever seen. The doctor makes a note on his clipboard. DOCTOR How's the rest of your health? FRIDA Good. Except for PMS. The doctor resists the temptation to roll his eyes. DOCTOR PMS. What symptoms are you experiencing? FRIDA It's hard to describe. I get really bloated and irritable and emotional and depressed and... DOCTOR That's just part of being a woman. Diet and exercise should help. Avoid salt, sugar, starches, caffeine, alcohol... FRIDA What else is there? DOCTOR And keep a journal of your symptoms to make sure it's related to your period and not just in your head. FRIDA It's not just in my head. The doctor snaps his folder shut and heads for the door. DOCTOR I'll send a nurse in to clean that bite and give you a tetanus shot. And a rabies shot... just in case. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Frida chomps on a carrot. She presses PLAY on her answering machine and picks up a framed picture of herself and MARK. They're both smiling. Frida puts the picture back, face down. FRIDA'S MOM (ON MACHINE) It's mom. I ran into Herman today. I wish you'd move back home and marry him. He's got a great job at Penneys. I don't know why you're in New York with all those freaks. Sammy, the black cat, whizzes by with his tail puffed. Frida enters the kitchen and sees the cat's dishes are empty. She gets a cat food can out of the cupboard and accidentally scratches herself. She notices her nails are surprisingly long. She stares at them, confused, then opens the cat food. FRIDA Sammy? Seafood Feast? Frida sniffs the cat food as though it smells good to her. She nearly eats some -- then shakes her head, realizing it was a crazy thought. She stands up and sniffs around her kitchen. She searches the cupboards. Then the refrigerator. It's full of fruit and vegetables. The other cupboard has healthy stuff as well. Frida slams the cupboard shut. Obviously not finding what she's looking for. A MONTAGE with jump cuts as Frida paces in circles. She clips her fingernails and toenails, which are quite long and thick. She goes to the refrigerator, opens the door, looks in and closes the door. She does this several times as if its contents will change the next time she opens it. She paces faster and faster in a tighter circle. She feels claustrophobic in her clothes and practically rips them off. INT. GROCERY STORE - NIGHT Frida hurriedly shoves several chocolate bars in her basket, which is filled with junk food (frozen yogurt, chocolate- covered pretzels, Doritos), a box of tampons, and some Midol. Frida senses someone watching her as she grabs a bag of Hershey's kisses. She looks up and sees BRUNO, an intriguing- looking man. They make eye-contact and he smiles at her. Frida is nervous but flattered. She heads for the cashier. EXT. GROCERY STORE/STREET - NIGHT We see Frida walking from behind. We're in the POV of someone who's following her. Then CU Frida as she continues walking, holding her grocery bags. She senses someone following her and spins around to look. She sees Bruno walking behind her. She smiles a tad and then turns back around and keeps walking. She hears Bruno's pace quicken and she quickens her own. We see Frida from Bruno's POV as he speeds up and is gaining on her. What started out as a briefly sexy moment has suddenly become kind of scary. CU on Frida walking fast. We hear her heart beating fast. Bruno catches up to her -- he's right behind her. Frida can hear him breathing hard. Frida spins around and stares at Bruno. Her normally blue yes look oddly bright -- like they're orange. She swipes at the Bruno's face with her fingernails and slashes him. He jumps back in pain and covers his face. BRUNO Jesus Christ! He pulls his hand from his face to reveal large bloody scratches on his cheek. He looks up at Frida, but she's gone. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Frida, in her bathrobe, is downing chocolate bars rabidly. Her cat, Sammy, is hiding, frightened under the bed. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - MORNING Frida's asleep on the sofa with her bathrobe draped over her. She wakes up slowly, in a daze, like she has a bad hang-over. She looks around, squinting -- the light hurts her eyes. Her apartment's in disarray -- furniture moved around. She sits up and puts her bathrobe on, realizing it's ripped. FRIDA Sammy? Frida gets up and notices the cat food dish is empty. She opens a can of cat food. The cat's nowhere to be seen. INT. FRIDA'S BATHROOM - DAY Frida looks in the mirror. She examines her arms and legs and thinks they look hairy. They look fine, but she's obsessed. She has a quick flash in which they look hairier, but then they're normal again. Is it all in her head? Frida leans closer to the mirror and scrutinizes her face and "mustache" area. She then opens the medicine cabinet and finds some Neet liquid hair remover and turns on the shower. INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - DAY Frida takes a brand new bra out of her Victoria's Secret shopping bag. She puts on the bra -- it's clearly too tight. She adjusts the straps to no avail -- she's still bulging out. She pulls on a shirt and blazer. Frida grabs her coat and briefcase and leaves. As soon as she shuts the door, the cat comes out and goes to its food dish. EXT. PARK BENCH - DAY Frida sits in the sunshine eating chocolate pudding like there's no tomorrow as she reads a script. She wears tennis shoes with her suit. She feels a little hot and unbuttons the top few buttons of her blouse. GREGORY, a tall, good-looking guy in a suit, stands casting his shadow on her. Frida is startled for a moment. She looks up at him looming over her, but he's hard to see since the sun is right behind him. GREGORY Didn't mean to scare ya. It's Frida, right? I'm Gregory. From accounting. Frida's a little uneasy about him staring at her chest. FRIDA I know. GREGORY So you're Grant's secretary? FRIDA I do development for TV movies. GREGORY Oh, a D-Girl. You know... I have a really great idea for a screenplay. Frida tries to avoid cringing. FRIDA (slightly sarcastic) You're kidding, really? GREGORY No, I'm serious. How about we have dinner and I tell you about it? EXT. POLICE BUILDING - DAY Two male police detectives, PETER and LLOYD, are getting out of an unmarked car. LLOYD Nah, I don't wanna break up with Wanda, I just wanna see Carmen too. PETER Man, you're livin' dangerously. Let me ask you somethin', you always have to get women drunk before they'll sleep with you? LLOYD You kiddin'? They try to get ME drunk. PETER You're some catch Lloyd. LLOYD Hey, you hear about the chick that came in today? Said some chick bit her at Victoria's Secret. Bitches are outta control these days. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - DAY Frida, in her ripped bathrobe, is setting up her new makeup on a table. She hears a knock on the door and heads for it. FRIDA Jennifer, you're early... She opens the door and sees MARK, the guy from the photo she'd put face down. Mark is cute, but a bit of a geek. He does have the nice brown eyes Frida mentioned earlier. He carries a McDonald's bag and is eating a French fry. FRIDA What are you doing here Mark? He pushes his way past her and into the apartment. MARK I missed you. I wanted to see you. Frida's skeptical. MARK Hey what's all this stuff? He shoves aside some of the makeup and puts down his McDonald's bag on the table. FRIDA Jennifer's giving me a makeover. Mark takes a burger out of the bag and unwraps it. Frida sniffs at the burger. MARK What, you got a date or somethin'? FRIDA Since when do you care? Frida lustily eyes the burger. Mark sees her check it out. MARK Sorry, I know you hate the sight of meat. Mark looks at Frida for a moment -- for the first time really since he barged in. MARK You look different. I mean you look good. FRIDA You never say that. MARK You do though. You look really... is that a wonderbra? FRIDA No. He walks closer to her. Frida backs up. Mark moves in closer, puts his arms around her and tries to kiss her. Frida turns her head away from his kiss. She looks down and sees the burger, which sits on the table behind Mark. ECU of the burger looking delicious like in a commercial. Frida sniffs and makes a little moan -- she's completely focused on the burger. Mark thinks she's moaning for him, and he continues kissing her neck. As he does, Frida reaches down, picks up the burger and takes a huge bite out of it. CLOSE ON Frida's face as we see her sheer near-orgasmic enjoyment of the burger. Suddenly Mark jerks away. MARK OUCH! Shit! What the fuck? He twists his arm to reach around to feel his back. Completely ignoring Mark's pain, Frida takes a few more chomps of the burger as though she hasn't eaten in days. Mark lifts his shirt, which is ripped. He sees in the mirror that his back has huge bleeding scratches on it. MARK Look what you did! FRIDA Oh my god, I'm sorry! MARK Shit. And you're eating my burger? You don't eat meat. FRIDA I can't help it, it smells so good. Frida finishes the burger with an enormous bite and then runs into the bathroom and gets rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball. MARK Fuck you have sharp nails. Frida dabs his scratches with the rubbing alcohol. MARK OUCH that stings! Damn, what am I going to do with my back like this? FRIDA Worried about what all your girlfriends might think? MARK Frida, you know you're it for me. FRIDA Yeah right... You better go. Frida pulls him towards the door. Mark grabs his empty burger wrapper and fries. MARK Hey wait, I paid three bucks for that burger. You owe me... FRIDA You haven't even paid me back the thousand bucks you owe me! MARK I'm working on it... Frida rolls her eyes. She drags him and pushes him out the door. Mark's surprised by how strong Frida is. Frida slams the door and locks it. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - LATER ECUs of Jennifer putting make-up on Frida. FRIDA Why did Gregory ask me out? I mean he's cute -- he probably just wants to pitch his screenplay idea. JENNIFER Maybe he likes you, ever think of that? It's good for you to go out -- get your mind off Mark. FRIDA You're so lucky you have George and don't need to go on dates anymore. JENNIFER What I really hated about dating was the lines guys used to get into my apartment. "Can I use your phone?" "How about a nightcap?" "I want to meet your cat." And my all-time favorite, the old standby, "I have to use your bathroom." FRIDA Maybe they have to pee. JENNIFER Are you kidding? He might as well say, "Can I date rape you?" FRIDA I never thought of it like that. I never know what to do on dates. Do guys still pay? JENNIFER They better. Of course, trouble is, you never know what they'll expect for it. You gotta know what to order, and what you're willing to do. Like if a guy spends a fortune on you, he's gonna feel like you owe him something. Frida looks worried. She picks up a big hand mirror on the table and looks at herself. FRIDA Oh my god, I have a mustache! Jennifer looks closely at Frida's face. JENNIFER Where? FRIDA Where? Where do you think a mustache would be. Look! JENNIFER I don't see anything. Maybe just a little. FRIDA Holy shit, I'm a freak. JENNIFER You are not Frida, we all have a little hair there. I didn't even notice till you showed me. We can bleach that, it's no big deal. Jennifer brushes Frida's hair. She pauses and looks at Frida's eyes. JENNIFER Hey, did you get contacts? FRIDA (suddenly realizing she's not wearing glasses) Oh, my glasses! Maybe my eyes got stronger from not wearing them. INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT Frida sits across the table from Gregory. GREGORY You hungry? FRIDA Starving. A waiter hands each of them a menu. GREGORY Have whatever you want. My treat. They each look at menus. The entrees are listed from lighter fair down to steaks. CU of each menu item and its price. Frida does a double-take at her menu. Instead of seeing a dollar amount, Frida reads it like this, "Chef's Salad = French Kissing and Groping; Pasta Special = Heavy Petting and Breast Feel; Chicken Marsala = Blow Job; Steak Frites = Regular Fucking; Surf and Turf Lobster = Kinky Sex till you're sore." GREGORY Man I'm starving too, I think I'll go for the Surf and Turf. FRIDA I'm not really hungry after all. GREGORY You said you're starving. Come on, I can't stand a woman who won't eat. Frida hungrily eyes a steak the waiter passes by with. She inhales deeply. FRIDA Maybe just one little steak... INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT (LATER) CU of Frida eating. Devouring everything on her plate. Slow DOLLY IN to CU of Frida as Gregory goes on about himself. GREGORY My senior year, I was waiting for that letter from Harvard. I'd heard from Yale. Got in. Brown, MIT, got in. But Harvard... here's the suspense... a letter comes... And everyone knows if it's a thin envelope you don't get in, right? So I get a thin envelope and I wasn't even gonna open it. I was just gonna jump off a bridge. Cause it was Harvard or bust... Frida looks up momentarily as she rips off a particularly tough piece of meat. Her food is much more interesting than her date. Gregory blurs a bit into the background. His voice is slightly altered -- as now we're hearing his subtext. GREGORY Okay let's face it, I got into Harvard cause my dad donated $50,000. I barely got a thousand on my SATs and was kicked outta prep school, but hey, that's life. I have a really small penis. Which is why I tell stories about how great I am. I'm also losing my hair and I have no interest in a relationship. I just want you to like my screenplay idea but I do expect you to fuck me later... The camera's still on Frida as she's eating. She looks up at Gregory again momentarily as he snaps back into focus. GREGORY So there I was, hanging from the edge of a bridge, when my mom said, "Son, you got into Harvard!" It took three of them to pull me back! Frida keeps eating. GREGORY Well, whattdaya think? FRIDA That's great. Highly original. Frida cleans her plate with her finger and licks it. Gregory stares at her. He's only half finished -- he's been busy talking, and she's been busy eating. Frida eyes his half- eaten steak and points at it with her fork. FRIDA Are you gonna finish that? EXT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT Gregory is walking Frida home. She gets her keys out. FRIDA I'd really feel more comfortable paying for my half of the dinner. GREGORY Hey, how about a little nightcap? He leans against the door, blocking Frida as she tries to unlock the door. FRIDA I'm really tired. GREGORY Come on, didn't all that steak make you thirsty? FRIDA No. Really, I'm... I don't feel well. I've got terrible PMS. GREGORY They say sex is great for cramps. FRIDA Well I have it worse than cramps. Goodnight Gregory. She tries to push him aside from the door. He doesn't budge. In fact he leans closer to Frida. She can feel his breath. GREGORY Can I use your bathroom? Frida spins around. FRIDA What? GREGORY I really gotta pee. FRIDA You should have gone at the restaurant. GREGORY I didn't have to pee then. FRIDA My apartment's just such a mess. GREGORY That's okay. I just have to use the bathroom and then I'll leave. FRIDA Oh come on. Knock it off. GREGORY Knock what off? FRIDA You don't have to pee. GREGORY Yes I do have to pee! FRIDA You're just saying that to get into my apartment and then you're hoping that'll turn into something else. GREGORY I wouldn't mind doin' something else, but I do really have to pee. FRIDA Uh huh. So pee. GREGORY So pee? Here? FRIDA Yeah. Whip it out. You want me to see it -- that's what this is all about, right? Gregory looks at her, not sure if she's serious. Then he takes a step back and looks around to make sure no one's watching. He then unzips his pants and pees. Frida has the urge to laugh for a moment, but then she holds it back. An awkward moment as Gregory takes a really long time to pee. He looks over at Frida once or twice, and they exchange an awkward glance. Finally he's done and he zips up his pants. Frida and Gregory look at each other. Frida's eyes seem to glow. She takes a step towards him. Gregory's taken off guard as Frida grabs him and kisses him. FADE TO WHITE and dissolve into next scene. EXT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING Dissolve down from a bright morning sky and then dolly in quietly on the building. INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - MORNING 31 Move in slowly on a CU of Frida sleeping. She wakes up and squirms around a little. She notices a bloody handprint on her pillowcase and jolts awake. She bolts up and sees blood on her hand. She quickly pushes her sheets down and sees more blood on her white sheets and on her legs. She sighs, realizing she's gotten her period. FRIDA Thank god. Frida looks around and squints. Her vision's blurry. She grabs her glasses and puts them on. She sees Sammy curled up at the foot of her bed, purring. She pets him. FRIDA Even you know when PMS is over. EXT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING Frida and Jennifer are each holding laundry baskets full of laundry. Frida is juggling trying to lock her door while balancing her basket on her leg. FRIDA It was like I woke up in a murder scene. It took me a few seconds to realize it was just my period. I must have had a bad dream. Peter and Lloyd are at the end of the hallway looking at Frida and Jennifer, but the women don't notice them. PETER We're looking for Frida Harris. Frida and Jennifer turn and see Peter and Lloyd approaching. FRIDA I'm Frida Harris. Her eyes lock with Peter's. There's some attraction there, but we don't dwell on the moment too long. LLoyd is in no way subtle checking out both women. PETER We're police detectives. Frida feels guilty. She's not sure why. Maybe just cause she's Catholic. LLOYD It's about Gregory Jameson. He's dead. FRIDA Oh my god, what happened? PETER He was found a few blocks away. LLOYD Torn apart. Limb from limb. A bloody gruesome mess. Frida looks down at her laundry and sees the bloody sheet on the top. Peter and LLoyd look down and see it too. FRIDA I had a little accident. Jennifer sees Frida is embarrassed. Both men stare at her bloody sheet. Lloyd clears his throat. JENNIFER Jesus Christ she got her period. Relax guys. It happens. PETER Yeah, sorry. Uh... Gregory's roommate told us you were out with him last night. FRIDA Yes... I... we had dinner. LLOYD Did he come home with you? Did you go to his apartment? FRIDA No, it was our first date. LLOYD Looks like it was your only date. Unless you go to his funeral. Lloyd chuckles. Peter shoots him a look. PETER When's the last time you saw him? FRIDA We... he walked me home and... we said goodnight. Um, he kissed me goodnight and that was it. LLOYD A kiss? Did you have sex with him? FRIDA No, I said it was our first date. JENNIFER How the hell is that your business? PETER We're just trying to figure out what happened. FRIDA I wish I could help but last I saw Gregory was outside my front door. PETER Okay, if you think of anything else, please give us a call. Peter tries to hand Frida a business card, but she has no hands free so he puts it on her bloody sheet. Lloyd can't keep his eyes off the bloody sheet. LLOYD Uh... mind if we take those sheets in for testing? You know, to rule everything out. Frida turns red. JENNIFER You want her sheets? PETER We can just take this pillowcase. LLOYD We can get a warrant if you like. FRIDA No, take it. Peter slips on a glove and picks up the pillowcase with the bloody handprint on it. He's nearly as embarrassed as Frida. Their eyes lock for a moment, then they both avert their gazes. PETER Sorry. INT. LAUNDROMAT - MORNING Frida and Jennifer are taking their clothes out of dryers. FRIDA He's dead? Am I bad luck or what? JENNIFER There you go, blaming yourself for everything again. FRIDA And he was ripped limb from limb? JENNIFER I'm sure they were exaggerating. FRIDA Why would they exaggerate? JENNIFER To sound like big macho cops. He was probably just found with a knife in his back. Jennifer looks up at Frida, who looks overwhelmed. JENNIFER So did you do it? FRIDA Did I kill him? Of course not! JENNIFER No, did you fuck him? FRIDA No. I don't think so. JENNIFER You don't think so? You either did or your didn't. FRIDA I don't remember. We kissed at my door and next thing I knew I woke up with my period. Alone. JENNIFER Did you get smashed or what? You have to eat if you're drinking. And not just those little salads. FRIDA I ate a burger in the afternoon and a steak and a half with Gregory. JENNIFER I guess you're off that vegetarian kick you've been on for ten years. FRIDA I couldn't stop eating steak. I felt out of control -- like I was making up for all those years being a vegetarian. I couldn't get enough. And then Gregory walked me home... and he peed in front of me. JENNIFER What? Why the hell did he do that? FRIDA He was trying to get into my apartment and... I know this sounds gross but I was so turned on. I grabbed him and kissed him! JENNIFER And then? FRIDA I think I went in and fell asleep. I guess Gregory walked home and got killed! I blacked out. JENNIFER At least your PMS is over. FRIDA And my bra finally fits again. Jennifer folds some of George's boxer shorts. JENNIFER I thought you were going to stop wearing your glasses. FRIDA My vision got worse again. Frida pulls out a pair of men's briefs from the dryer. Jennifer eyes them suspiciously. JENNIFER Are those Mark's? FRIDA No, Mark wears boxers. They must have been in the dryer already. JENNIFER Uh huh... good thing those cops didn't see that. Frida picks up Peter's card. FRIDA He was cute, huh? Of course whenever I meet a guy, I'm wearing no make-up. JENNIFER Rule one: always wear make-up. FRIDA I wonder if he's married. JENNIFER He wasn't wearing a ring. But you don't want to date a cop Frida. They're so blue collar. Frida leaves the briefs on the laundry table. She notices they're ripped. INT. POLICE OFFICE - DAY Peter and Lloyd are going over some papers. LLOYD I didn't trust her. All that blood on the sheets. She may look sweet, but she could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Something's weird. PETER That dude was torn limb from limb. No way a woman like that could have done it. You never seen blood on a chick's sheets from her period? LLOYD Hell no, I'm not into that shit. The sight of blood makes me sick. PETER Oh, so you decide to be a cop? Seriously? You don't have sex with a woman cause she's on the rag? LLOYD No man. Blood is not a turn on. You sure let that Frida off the hook. You weren't even going to take the sheets. If I didn't know better, I'd think you liked her. PETER I can tell she's not a killer. You just don't like her cause you have a hang up about menstruation. LLOYD Nah, man, I'm just saying, you should never date a woman who was the last one to see a guy alive. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - DAY Jennifer is giving Frida a manicure. She's filing her nails. JENNIFER Your nails are so tough and pointy. What is this stuff under them? Jennifer scrapes what looks like flesh from under her nails. The phone rings. FRIDA Ignore it. It's probably my mom. The machine picks up. FRIDA (ON MACHINE) Hi it's Frida. Leave a message! The machine beeps. MARK (ON MACHINE) Frida, Frida, Frida. I get so hot thinking about yesterday. My scratches have almost healed and I'm ready for more. Jennifer freezes. JENNIFER Gross, so this is Mark's flesh? When did you see him? FRIDA Um, he stopped by yesterday before you came over. JENNIFER Why didn't you tell me? You said you hadn't seen him for a month. FRIDA I'm sorry. I didn't want you to think I was still a doormat. JENNIFER Frida, I'm your friend. I'm not judging you... You didn't sleep with the creep did you? INT. FRIDA'S OFFICE - DAY Frida sits at her desk typing at her computer. A larger stack of scripts sits beside her. Mr. Grant walks by and plops several more on her desk. Frida's looking buried in scripts. MR. GRANT Find me that "Woman in Jeopardy" story. He starts to pass by as usual, then stops, stares at Frida, looking her up and down. He's noticed something has changed. FRIDA How about a "Man in Jeopardy" story? MR. GRANT Did you change your hair? FRIDA A little. Mr. Grant nods and continues on his way. Frida gives him the look of death. INT. SHRINK'S OFFICE - DAY Frida sitting at her shrink's office. FRIDA I had the strangest dream -- that I was really hungry, and I was chasing someone... I think I was some sort of animal. And my sex drive... it's embarrassing but I've had these sexual dreams too. The shrink leans forward eagerly. SHRINK Anything about bestiality? Frida looks back at him quizzically. FRIDA What's that? EXT. STREET - DAY Peter and Lloyd are walking. Peter's reading a lab report. LLOYD Frida's sheets checked out fine. It was just her own blood. From her... you know. PETER I told you she was innocent. LLOYD Hey, there was a lot of blood. PETER She was never a suspect Lloyd. Some animal must have done this. LLOYD I checked all the zoos. No missing animals. You think a pitbull? PETER Maybe. What about all those hairs they found on his body? LLOYD Waiting for DNA tests. He was hairier than Madonna in Penthouse. PETER Madonna's in Penthouse? LLOYD Back in the '80's. You didn't see the pictures? They were from before she got famous. She was hairy as hell. Her pits, her bush. PETER Hairy women are kind of sexy. Women in their natural state. Lloyd gives Peter a grossed out, horrified look. PETER What? LLOYD And you think I'm sick? INT. FRIDA'S OFFICE - DAY Frida sits at her desk, typing a letter. We hear a VOICE OVER of what she's typing. FRIDA (V.O.) Thank you for your submission of "Woman on the Tracks." Although the story of a woman being rescued by Fabio after being tied to the train tracks is indeed the kind of lame ass "Women in Jeopardy" genre that my company seeks, I cannot of sound mind pass this script on to anyone. In a nutshell: it sucks. Mr. Grant walks by and dumps a few scripts on Frida's desk. FRIDA Wait. Mr. Grant. He keeps walking. Frida rises and speaks with more authority. FRIDA Mr. Grant. He stops in his tracks, surprised at her tone. He turns around slowly. FRIDA I can't read any more crap. These women are all victims. MR. GRANT Yes, that's what we're looking for. FRIDA I think we should do something with strong female characters... MR. GRANT I'll make a note of that. Put the coverage on my desk. Mr. Grant walks into his office. Frida sits down, satisfied and surprised she had the nerve to speak to him like that. INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY Frida sits across from her doctor as he examines her wrist. DOCTOR That bite healed up quickly. It's been about three weeks? FRIDA Nearly four. DOCTOR How have you been feeling? FRIDA Okay, but I'm worried about the next PMS bout. It's gotten worse. I'm not myself during it. I get bloated, irritable, my breasts get huge, my nails turn into claws, my teeth get sharper and I have more facial and body hair. DOCTOR Sounds all stress related. Your teeth may feel sharper if you're grinding them at night. You don't seem hairy to me. Is that all? FRIDA I get crazy dreams and I black out. DOCTOR Diet and exercise, that's all there is. I'm not a big proponent of the PMS craze, but there's a book my wife mentioned called "The PMS Diet," which may be helpful. FRIDA Does she have PMS? DOCTOR Now it's menopause. She's always hot. I gotta wear a parka around the house cause she keeps it so cold. It's always something. MONTAGE of Frida dieting and exercising -- eating carrots and salads. Working out at a gym. Sometimes with Jennifer. Jogging. Showing a passage of time and Frida trying to overcome PMS. EXT. BOOKSTORE - DAY Peter, wearing a "University of Michigan" T-shirt, is standing across the street from the bookstore. Frida walks out of the bookstore with a shopping bag and heads down the sidewalk. Peter follows her. Frida keeps walking but senses someone's following her. She turns around quickly and sees Peter duck behind a corner. She thinks about this for a second and then turns around and heads for him. Peter realizes he's been seen and faces the music. PETER You busted me. FRIDA Are you following me? PETER No... no... this is embarrassing. I was returning your pillowcase... and I saw you cross the street... and I sort of started following you. I just find you really intriguing. I don't know why. FRIDA Intriguing? Someone walks by, walking a dog. The dog barks viciously at Frida, and the dog's owner has a tough time controlling him. Frida looks afraid. Peter's a little weirded out too. The dog's owner finally drags the barking dog away. FRIDA I gotta get going. Peter gets the pillowcase out of his bag. PETER At least let me give you this back. I washed it. Just as Peter hands Frida the pillowcase, Mark rides by in his bike. He screeches to a halt, nearly falling off his bike. Mark stares at the pillowcase. MARK What's going on Frida? Peter checks Mark out. Less like a cop than a jealous suitor. Mark looks at Peter like he wants to kill him. FRIDA Where'd you get the bike? MARK I'm kinda borrowing it. Who's this, Mr. Date-Guy? Mark, clearly jealous, looks at Peter, then the pillowcase. FRIDA No, this is Peter. He's a cop. Mark suddenly seems nervous. MARK Oh, hi, uh, Pete. Gotta run Frida. He takes off on his bike. Peter and Frida watch him ride off. PETER Being a cop has such a warm effect on people. FRIDA That's my ex. He's an asshole. In case you couldn't tell. I think he's been following me. PETER There's a lot of that going around. She starts walking. Peter walks beside her. PETER You wanna get some coffee? FRIDA I'm trying to stay away from caffeine. PETER Some decaf then? That was stupid. Obviously you said you were staying away from caffeine as a nice way of blowing me off. FRIDA No. Really. I don't drink coffee anymore. I used to love it but my tastes have changed recently. PETER Okay well. Maybe some other time. They continue walking together. PETER So what book did you buy? FRIDA Oh, it's nothing. PETER No really, I love knowing what people read. FRIDA It's stupid. PETER I can forgive you a bestseller. Frida takes her book out of her bag. It says "The PMS Diet." PETER My mom used to get PMS too. FRIDA Used to? Did it stop finally? PETER No, she died when I was twelve. FRIDA I'm sorry. PETER I've had time to get over it. She was killed by wolves they think. FRIDA Oh my god, by wolves? A chill runs down Frida's spine. PETER We lived in northern Minnesota. She went for a walk one night and they never found her body -- just her torn apart clothes with her blood and wolf blood on them. Then the town rounded up bunch of hunters and shot all the wolves in the area. FRIDA I'm so sorry Peter. Gee, that sure puts my problems in perspective. PETER The weird thing is I've had an odd, morbid fascination with wolves ever since. EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE - DAY Frida and Peter are walking across the bridge. The sun begins setting. They look like they've talked all day. FRIDA I've read scripts about detectives, but never met one. Must be wild. PETER Sometimes it's frustrating. Like this Gregory Jameson case. We don't even know what killed him. I'm putting together little details to see if we're missing something. FRIDA Like what? PETER You know how moms always tell you to wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident? Well this guy wasn't wearing any underwear. FRIDA A lot of people don't wear underwear. PETER Yeah but a guy hung like a horse would need briefs to keep things in line. Frida blushes. PETER Sorry. Sometimes I'm a bit frank. They keep walking for a few moments. FRIDA How about you? Briefs or boxers? PETER Briefs. FRIDA Cool. I don't get guys who wear boxers. My ex wore boxers. I never got how he could wear khakis and not have his boxers bunch up. PETER Me neither. That's why I wear briefs... So why did you and... Mark break up? FRIDA He's bad news. He cheated on me, he insults me. Now suddenly he gets jealous if I have a date. They keep walking. CU of Peter and Frida's hands as they accidentally hit a few times as they walk. Peter reaches over and touches her fingers. They hold hands for a moment, then Frida lets go. EXT. NY CITY - NIGHT Night shots from throughout NY city. We hear Frida and Peter's dialog over ominous shots. FRIDA I really gotta get going. PETER Thanks for the walk. Maybe we could... get a bite sometime? FRIDA Yeah. Maybe. PETER Goodnight. FRIDA Goodnight. We see the moon and it's nearly full. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - DAY Jennifer and Frida, on their way in, plunk themselves down with big shopping bags. FRIDA I don't think I've ever actually liked anyone I've dated before. Peter even likes me without makeup. JENNIFER Hmmm. Sounds suspicious. FRIDA I don't know much about him. How do you know if a guy is decent? JENNIFER Give him the tampon test. FRIDA What the hell is the tampon test? JENNIFER You're at his place, and you come out of the bathroom looking all shy and say, "I'm so embarrassed but could you run out and get me some tampons?" If he says no, he's too embarrassed, then you know he's a wus. If he says he's got some in the bathroom, then you know there are other women around a lot. But if he says yes and goes to get you tampons, well then he's a decent guy. Then, while he's out... Jennifer's voice over continues into the next scene. INT. PETER'S APARTMENT/LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Frida is searching through Peter's desk. JENNIFER (V.0.) ... you search his apartment. Look for drugs in his medicine cabinet, look for pictures of women, look for bank statements. Frida looks at some framed pictures, one of Peter when he was a boy with his mother. Lots of pictures of Peter as a teenager with wolf-looking dogs. She searches some drawers and finds just normal guy stuff. His police badge. His bookshelves are filled with wolf- related books: Virginia Wolf, Thomas Wolfe, The Three Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood. His CD collection: Bob Seeger and the Silver Bullet Band and Los Lobos. Suddenly she hears the front door opening. She quickly straightens herself up and spins around as Peter opens the door holding a bag full of tampon boxes. PETER I didn't know what kind to get. He dumps out the bag. He got every make and model of tampon. PETER So I got one of each. INT. PETER'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT Frida sits at a candle-lit dining room table while Peter serves her a dinner he's cooked and pours her some wine. Frida notices some bullets in a glass frame on the wall. FRIDA What are those? PETER Silver bullets. A collectors item. These are very valuable. They were melted down from a crucifix. FRIDA What are they for? PETER Oh just my wolf paraphernalia. Some people collect beanie babies... I collect silver bullets. They both eat. Frida takes a sip of wine. INT. PETER'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Frida and Peter are on the floor in front of the fireplace. They have a long, slow, ongoing kiss and cling to each other while they have dialog in between. PETER So... did you rummage through my stuff while I was gone? He kisses her again. FRIDA What? They kiss between sentences. PETER I'm a cop -- I notice everything. That drawer's ajar, that picture's been moved about an inch, the closet wasn't closed when I left... FRIDA Okay, you busted me. They continue to kiss. Things start getting hot and heavy. Frida lies back on the ground and gently pulls Peter on top of her. They kiss for a moment then Peter pulls away. FRIDA What's wrong? PETER Oh, nothing's wrong. Just... well don't you have your period? FRIDA My period? No. Peter's confused. PETER But... what were those tampons for? Frida remembers now. FRIDA Oh, yes, you're right. I guess I got carried away in the moment. Frida straightens herself up. PETER I mean we can still... whatever... Maybe I should get a towel? FRIDA No. No, I'm fine. Maybe I should go. I mean... I don't want our first time to be like this. PETER Frida, wait. Don't go. We can just sleep. I just want to wake up with you. Frida has an itch on her arm. She looks at it and in a quick flash, her arm looks incredibly hairy -- then it returns to normal. Frida's freaked out. She puts her arms behind her back. Peter doesn't get what's wrong. FRIDA I have to go. I'm not good at relationships. INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - MORNING Frida wakes up. She squints instinctively and looks for her glasses. Then she realizes she can see clearly and doesn't need them. Sammy the cat immediately whizzes by hissing and ducks into the other room. Frida looks insulted. Frida looks in the hand mirror and notices her eyes have a strange glow. She opens her mouth and her lower teeth look a bit like wolves' teeth. She looks back up at her eyes again and blinks, doing a double take. She looks down at her teeth again and now they seem normal. Frida inspects her face for facial hair. She touches her breasts, which feel large and painful. INT. FRIDA'S KITCHEN - DAY Frida looks through the "The PMS Diet" book and makes a list. Strange spices, odd and completely unappetizing ingredients. MONTAGE of Frida coming back into apartment with all the diet regimen stuff -- also bottles of Neet hair remover and tough nail clippers, Midol. Some ultra-quick cuts -- jump cuts, etc. of Frida working out, trying to stick with her diet. Finally a shot of her covered in chocolate like Al Pacino with cocaine in "Scarface." INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - DAY Frida, still with chocolate on her face, is on the phone. FRIDA I'm freaking out. I'm like an animal and totally out of control. My arms keep getting really hairy. JENNIFER (ON PHONE) You have to stop being so self- critical Frida. FRIDA I looked like an Italian man! Jennifer laughs over the phone. Frida's dead serious. INT. JENNIFER'S BEDROOM - DAY Jennifer, also on a cordless phone, is getting ready to go out. She wears a tight dress and is putting on red lipstick. George comes up behind her and kisses her neck. JENNIFER How'd it go with the cop? FRIDA (ON PHONE) We almost slept together... and... then the hair started and I booked. JENNIFER Frida, this hair thing is all in your head. You're using it as an excuse not to get close to anyone. FRIDA (ON PHONE) It's just as well. I'm afraid of getting hurt again. Mark seemed great at first too. I don't want to get too attached to Peter and then find out he's a creep. JENNIFER Hey, Carlton's in town -- come out with the three of us. George hears this, shakes his head and motions to Jennifer furiously with his hands, "No, no!" Jennifer shrugs him off. FRIDA (ON PHONE) Carlton hated me. George glares at Jennifer. She playfully blows him a kiss. BACK TO FRIDA'S APARTMENT JENNIFER (ON PHONE) No he didn't. Come on, I don't want to be alone with those two. All they talk about is basketball and it bores the hell out of me. FRIDA Okay. I guess so. JENNIFER (ON PHONE) Great. George is meeting Carlton first for drinks. We can meet and go together. It'll be a blast. INT. PETER'S APARTMENT - DAY Peter's eating a TV dinner, alone. He's doing a crossword puzzle. CU of the puzzle -- Peter has written the name "Frida" everywhere. INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT - DAY Jennifer finishes her make-up and George paces the room. JENNIFER Come on, I've been working with Frida. Carlton won't even recognize her now. She's really coming out of her shell. GEORGE She's just so... pathetic. JENNIFER She's just insecure. Once you get to know her she's fabulous. GEORGE She'll talk about PMS and stare at her salad. INT. FRIDA'S BATHROOM - DAY A montage as Frida spreads Neet on her body in the shower. Frida getting dressed. Her breasts are so big that she can't fit into her biggest bra. She improvises with some tape. EXT. STREET - DUSK A pair of high heels walk down the street. We hear a guy's whistle. Pan up the sexy legs that wear them. She's wearing a miniskirt and a short jacket. Finally we get to her face and it's Frida! She's a knockout. Beside her walks Jennifer. Frida's sexier than we've seen her. Even Jennifer looks at her like, "Wow." The PMS starting again makes her sexy. FRIDA I started out on that eye-of-newt diet the doctor gave me and wound up in the tub covered in chocolate. JENNIFER Well whatever it was, seems to have worked cause you look great. FRIDA You're just saying that. A couple of CUTE GUYS pass by. Jennifer looks at them, expecting them to comment on her as men usually do. Instead, the guys are checking out Frida. CUTE GUY Hey there beautiful. Frida and Jennifer keep walking. FRIDA What did he say? JENNIFER I think he called you beautiful. FRIDA Oh my god. I've never had that before. I've had guys say they want me to suck their dicks and gross stuff but no one's ever said "Hey there beautiful." Jennifer's obviously a bit miffed that the comment wasn't directed at her. INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT CU of Frida eating rare steak. PULL BACK TO REVEAL Carlton and George on each side of her, hanging on her every word as they had been with Jennifer on the previous date. Jennifer sits a bit off to the side feeling slightly left out. CARLTON Guess you like those Coyote Ugly steaks now, huh? FRIDA Sorry, don't mean to be wolfing down. I'm just starving. CARLTON Don't apologize. It's great to see a woman really enjoying her food. I hate it when I buy a woman dinner and she won't even touch it. GEORGE Yeah Jen here's always dieting and eating like a bird. Jennifer is picking at her plate. CARLTON No one I've run into knows what "coyote ugly" means. FRIDA Maybe that bartender made it up. I mean I think coyotes are rather beautiful. Maybe "coyote ugly" is really a compliment. Like someone who's conventionally "ugly" but is really beautiful. CARLTON Yeah that's like a three bagger. Today a bag is also a condom, so now a three bagger can be a chick that's really hot. So hot you gotta put several condoms on to dull the senses. JENNIFER Charming Carlton. FRIDA It is so hot in here. Frida takes off her jacket which reveals her newly large breasts nearly bulging out of her shirt. Everyone at the table can't help but notice. FRIDA Bag means condom now? I can't keep up with the word "bag." It used to be "No, that's not my bag" -- meaning not my thing. But now "my bag" means "my fault." JENNIFER I still thought it was a purse. GEORGE You forgot the verb. To bag. "I want to bag her." FRIDA Yeah but does that mean fuck her or kill her? Like a body bag? Frida gulps down her water. Before she has a chance to ask for more, Carlton and George trip over themselves getting the waiter's attention. CARLTON Waiter! She needs more water. GEORGE Can we get some service here? Jennifer takes her cigarette pack out and offers one to George. He takes one as does Jennifer. She puts her cigarette in her mouth and George lights his. Jennifer leans over, expecting George to light her cigarette as well, but he's not paying attention to her, so he blows out his match. Jennifer is not amused. Frida's eyes light up at the smoke. FRIDA I have to go to the bathroom. She bolts up, waving away the smoke. Jennifer follows her. INT. RESTAURANT/BATHROOM - NIGHT Frida and Jennifer are fixing their make-up in the mirror. JENNIFER You might want to tape your nipples down next time. It's really distracting. FRIDA I can't help it. My bra wouldn't even fit. I've been going to Victoria's Secret and exchanging bras for bigger ones and still I'm busting out. It's this PMS. JENNIFER Geez, I wish I'd get it like that. FRIDA No you don't, believe me. Frida looks at her arm. FRIDA Oh my god, look. My arms are so hairy! JENNIFER No they're not. They compare arms. FRIDA Yes they are! Look how much more hair I have than you! JENNIFER It's just cause mine is finer. A little bleach'll fix that. FRIDA I look like fuckin' Chewbacca. A shot of Frida and Jennifer's arms and we don't see much difference in them. INT. RESTAURANT/BOOTH - NIGHT Carlton and George back at the table. CARLTON No way is that the same chick. The other one was a dog. GEORGE Jennifer gave her a make-over. CARLTON Looks like a helluva lot more than a make-over. Was there surgery involved? George and Carlton ponder this. EXT. CENTRAL PARK - NIGHT Frida and Carlton walk through a remote area of Central Park. CARLTON Sorry I didn't recognize you earlier. You look so different. FRIDA I've changed a lot lately. Carlton stops walking. Frida stops as well. Carlton touches Frida's hair. Frida looks at him like she's tempted. She sniffs, then turns away and keeps walking. Carlton walks too. Carlton lights a cigarette. Frida flinches. Her eyes glow. FRIDA You shouldn't smoke. It'll kill you. CARLTON Yeah yeah I know. Smoking kills. I'll quit someday. Doesn't it seem like all the cool people smoke? FRIDA No. CARLTON James Dean, Humphrey Bogart... FRIDA Yul Brynner. They're all dead. CARLTON Yeah but they looked cool... Carlton's voice trails off as he rambles on. Meanwhile Frida is feeling strange symptoms. She's scratching like a dog. She smells something and starts sniffing around. Frida hears snippets of other conversations in various parts of the park: a hold-up, a couple arguing, a couple making out. Frida's head is spinning and she's breathing heavily. She hears Carlton again. CARLTON As James Dean said, "Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse." ECU of Frida scratching herself with wolfian nails. FRIDA What? CARLTON Your lips look delicious. Frida circles him slowly, staring into his eyes. He's turned on and intrigued. She takes off her jacket, breathing heavily. She zones in closer. Finally she's within reaching distance, and Carlton grabs her waist and pulls her toward him. CARLTON Wow your body's really hot. FRIDA I've been working out. CARLTON I mean body temperature. Do you have a fever? FRIDA Never felt better. She pulls the cigarette out of his hand and stomps it out. She grabs his face and kisses him passionately. Then she pulls away violently, which sends him spinning for a second. He looks up and she's vanished. All Carlton sees is darkness. CARLTON Frida? Was it something I said? INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT George is lifting some free weights. Jennifer's trying on a wonderbra, trying to make her chest look bigger. JENNIFER I wonder how Frida and Carlton are getting along? GEORGE Carlton insisted on leaving with her. Maybe he got lucky. JENNIFER So now being with Frida is lucky? I thought you said she was a flake. GEORGE Well the flake got a lot hotter. EXT. CENTRAL PARK - NIGHT Carlton is still searching in the darkness for Frida. He hears a low growling from somewhere behind him. CARLTON Frida? Is this some sort of game? (playfully, as if calling a dog) Here Frida... Here girl.... He turns around but sees nothing. He takes a few more steps. He hears another growl -- a bit louder and seeming a bit closer. Carlton turns around and seems scared by what he sees. He backpedals quickly away and breaks into a jog. Whatever Carlton sees starts chasing him. We HEAR growling and Carlton looks scared to death. He runs through the park and is chased until he falls down, and we zoom in closer on his terrified face as he screams. The growling gets louder. Carlton's face is blocked by a shadow. EXT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - MORNING A quiet and serene morning. DOLLY IN towards Frida's window. INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - MORNING Move in slowly on a CU of Frida sleeping -- same as the shot earlier when she woke up with blood on her sheets. She wakes up and sees a bloody handprint on her pillowcase. Frida's not as alarmed, having seen this once before. She quickly pushes her sheets down and sees some more blood and then quite a bit more blood and... A man's severed arm! Frida bolts out of bed screaming. Frida goes back toward the bed where the bloody arm is in the center. She circles the bed, wondering what the hell to do. FRIDA Holy shit, holy shit. She picks up the cordless phone and dials, in a panic. INT. JENNIFER'S BEDROOM - MORNING CU of George smiling, leaning against the bed backboard. Pull back to reveal he's sitting up on the bed naked, except for a huge mound of whipped cream that covers his groin. Jennifer is scantily clad and covered in whipped cream, spraying more whipped cream on George's mound. They're giggling. The phone rings. Jennifer bends down and licks a bit of whipped cream off George's mound. INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - MORNING Frida, panicking and putting large boots on, hears the ringing through her cordless phone. BACK TO JENNIFER'S APARTMENT The phone keeps ringing. Jennifer giggles. George sprays whipped cream on Jennifer. JENNIFER Let it ring. George reaches over to get the phone and picks it up. Jennifer's disappointed that he answered. GEORGE Yeah? FRIDA (ON PHONE) George, I need to talk to Jennifer. It's an emergency. Out of frame, Jennifer must be doing something to George, cause he starts moaning with pleasure. FRIDA (ON PHONE) George? Is she there? George hands the phone to Jennifer. Her face is now covered with whipped cream as though she's just had a pie in the face. GEORGE It's for you. Frida. JENNIFER Tell her I'm eating. Jennifer and George laugh. George hands the phone to Jennifer and accidentally drops it in a pile of whipped cream. INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - MORNING Frida hears the muffled sounds of Jennifer and George laughing. Finally she hears Jennifer, still half-laughing. JENNIFER (ON PHONE) Frida, this is a bad time. We're having sex and George actually answered the phone. FRIDA There is a man's arm in my bed. BACK TO JENNIFER'S APARTMENT JENNIFER Frida, you are not coyote ugly. Everyone was drooling over you last night. Including George. Jennifer flicks some whipped cream in George's face. He tickles Jennifer, and she nearly drops the phone. BACK TO FRIDA'S BEDROOM Frida circles the bed again. FRIDA Jennifer. A severed arm. It's bloody and... I'm not sure but it may be Carlton's. JENNIFER You fucked Carlton? See I told you he liked you. FRIDA No! Not fucked him, I think I killed him. BACK TO JENNIFER'S BEDROOM Jennifer is laughing. George spreads her legs and sprays some whipped cream on her. From Jennifer's POV -- we see George's upper half as he holds her leg up to the side of frame. FRIDA (ON PHONE) Please come over. I'm begging you. What should I do with the arm? Should I call the cops or... Peter? JENNIFER Frida, you're not making sense. I can't come over right now. Jennifer hangs up the phone and looks at George. JENNIFER Frida's hallucinating. Her PMS is out of control. BACK TO FRIDA'S BEDROOM Frida runs in wearing rubber gloves and holding a trash bag and a broom. She pokes the arm with the end of the broomstick. Frida wraps the arm in a sheet -- careful to not touch it and obviously grossed out. She opens the trash bag and spreads it out on the floor. With the broom, she pushes the sheet- wrapped arm into the trash bag. MONTAGE of Frida darting around the apartment, searching for places to stick the severed arm. INT. FRIDA'S KITCHEN - DAY Frida has the arm in her sink and is trying to fit it down the garbage disposal. The phone rings. The arm is standing straight up in her sink -- half shoved down the drain -- fingers side up. Frida runs to get the cordless and brings it into the kitchen. She's a bit breathless when she answers. FRIDA Jennifer? MOTHER (ON PHONE) No it's mom. FRIDA Mom! Frida recoils from the arm and the sink. Feeling somehow more guilty about it with her mom on the phone. MOTHER (ON PHONE) We're worried about you. "60 Minutes" was on same-sex couples. FRIDA What does that have to do with me? MOTHER (ON PHONE) You haven't mentioned dating anyone since Mark and, well you're not a lesbian are you? FRIDA No, I'm not a lesbian. Geez mom. MOTHER (ON PHONE) It's okay if you are, we just want to know. I don't want to be expecting grandchildren if... Frida glances at the arm in her sink. FRIDA I gotta go. My sink is clogged. Frida hangs up. She inches over to the sink and turns on the garbage disposal. It makes a horrid noise and blood spurts about, but the arm slowly makes its way down the drain. INT. LAUNDROMAT - DAY Frida is alone in the laundromat. She shoves the bloody sheets in the washer. Behind her, Peter walks in. PETER Frida? Frida quickly slams shut the washer and spins around, startled. She turns red and looks guilty. FRIDA Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me. You following me again? PETER (hurt by her accusation) No. I was doing my laundry. FRIDA I'm sorry -- I'm on edge today. Peter goes to one of the dryers and takes out his clothes. PETER Shit, where's my Michigan shirt? He sticks his head in the dryer looking for it. PETER Was there anything in that washer? FRIDA No. Nope, nothing in it. Frida backs up and puts her hand on top of the washer, protecting it. PETER You sure? It's my favorite shirt, mind if I check? FRIDA NO! I... I checked when I put my stuff in. I always look through the washer first. Peter backs up, noticing Frida's acting weird. He's a little hurt by her distance. PETER Oh... okay well maybe I lost it somewhere... He goes to his laundry bag. Trying to think of what to say. PETER Hey, I'm sorry if things got a little heavy the other... His beeper rings. He takes a cellular phone out of his pocket and dials. PETER Yeah? Uh huh... What? Torn to bits? Jesus Christ. Okay I'll be right there. He puts the cellular phone back in his pocket. FRIDA Everything okay? PETER A man killed in Central Park. Peter runs out. Frida paces nervously around the laundromat. INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - DAY Jennifer looks at Frida incredulously. JENNIFER (sarcastically) So where's this infamous arm now? FRIDA I put it down the garbage disposal. JENNIFER And what makes you think you killed a man? FRIDA Because of PMS, I get hairy, my nails turn into claws, I eat raw meat, I roam the city hunting for flesh. I've become a werewolf! Jennifer stares at Frida. JENNIFER You're a PMS werewolf. Of course. Frida, are you on drugs? FRIDA No, last night I think I chased Carlton around as a wolf and killed him. I woke up with a taste of blood in my mouth and a severed arm in my bed. And my throat hurts. Jennifer sits down. She shakes her head. JENNIFER You're delusional. Maybe you had a bad dream and bit your lip -- so you tasted blood. And the severed arm... well I don't see it and... maybe this is all in your head. FRIDA It took me an hour to clean it up. That was not in my head! JENNIFER Maybe the blood was from your period like before. FRIDA I haven't gotten it yet. JENNIFER Frida, listen to yourself. If I said I was a werewolf, would you believe me? FRIDA I don't know. You have to take Sammy. He's afraid of me. INT. SHRINK'S OFFICE - DAY Frida sits in her shrink's office. FRIDA I think I'm a werewolf. SHRINK Let's explore this. What makes you feel you're a werewolf? The shrink makes notes on his pad, "Insane. Delusional." FRIDA I ate a guy last night. SHRINK And how did you feel when you ate this guy? FRIDA I don't know. I don't remember doing it. The shrink sits back in his chair. He thinks for a moment while Frida stares at him. Finally he nods knowingly. SHRINK Dreams about killing usually signify feelings of guilt. You had sex last night and you feel guilty. FRIDA We didn't have sex. SHRINK You say you killed a man and don't remember it. Couldn't you have had sex and not remember it? It's sexual. Why did you choose "eating him" as the method of killing? FRIDA Cause I'm a fucking werewolf!! SHRINK You use the word "fucking." You're sexualizing things. Stop berating yourself. It's okay to have sex. INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT - DAY Jennifer stands near the door with the cat carrying case. George opens a window at the other side of the room. GEORGE I'm supposed to put up with a fuckin' cat I'm allergic to cause your friend's got PMS? JENNIFER It's so bad she becomes a werewolf. GEORGE You have some weird friends. What does her thinking she's a werewolf have to do with us having the cat? JENNIFER Don't be stupid George. Obviously if she's a werewolf, she can't be around a cat. She might eat it and besides, cats are afraid of wolves. George sneezes. GEORGE Oh great. What the fuck am I supposed to do? JENNIFER Take some allergy medicine. GEORGE You can't believe this bullshit. JENNIFER She's my best friend. I gotta be there for her -- no matter how crazy it sounds. I've been in some bad relationships and she's been there for me. She's lonely. If pretending she's a werewolf helps, then more power to her. She hears another "meow" from the carrier. JENNIFER Do we have any tuna? INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - DUSK Frida, very tired, goes to sleep. INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT - DUSK George takes his allergy medicine. Jennifer is opening a can of cat food. The doorbell rings. George goes to answer it in the background as Jennifer feeds the cat in the foreground. George opens the door -- Peter and Lloyd stand there. PETER Are you George McCracken? Jennifer looks over. JENNIFER They're police detectives. George nods. Jennifer starts opening the cat food can. GEORGE Yeah, I'm George McCracken. PETER We're here about Carlton Fraser. Jennifer freezes. LLOYD Your address was in his pocket. GEORGE Yeah, we were out last night. What happened? Was he in an accident? PETER He was found nearly ripped to shreds in Central Park. LLOYD And he was missing an arm. Jennifer drops the can opener. Peter looks over. Jennifer picks up the can opener and puts it on the counter. PETER When's the last time you saw Carlton? GEORGE After dinner, he left with Jen's friend, Frida. Peter looks at Jennifer, who looks like she's seen a ghost. PETER Frida Harris? Was she dating him? Peter seems jealous. Lloyd looks suspicious. JENNIFER No, heavens no. They're just... friends. Lloyd looks at Peter. Peter changes the subject quickly. PETER Uh... do you know any enemies Carlton might have? Jennifer and George look at each other, shake their heads, "no." INT. FRIDA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Frida is sleeping. Suddenly she rolls over and opens her eyes. Her eyes have an orangish glow. She's wide awake but looks trance-like. Fade to Black. INT. SPENCER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT OVER DARKNESS, we hear the giggling of Frida and SPENCER. SPENCER Is Frida your real name or just what you tell guys you meet at clubs? FRIDA It's Frida. Frida the FREAK. Spencer and Frida laugh. We hear the rattle of keys. FRIDA Having trouble sticking it in? As the apartment door opens, we see (in silhouette) Spencer carrying Frida over the threshold as a groom would his bride. He then flips on the lights of his apartment and kicks the door closed behind him. Spencer is longhaired and sexy. Frida is dressed very seductively and wears a lot of makeup -- but she looks great. She's busty and curvy -- barely recognizable from the frump of the first few scenes. Frida holds her hand up to block the light from her eyes. FRIDA The lights bother my eyes. Can we turn them off? SPENCER But you're so beautiful. I want to look at you. Frida takes a big whiff of Spencer. FRIDA Ummmm... you smell good. Spencer puts Frida down. She immediately starts pacing and circling the apartment, wolflike. She's on the prowl. She's acting different than we've seen her before. Spencer is wearing a Los Lobos T-shirt. FRIDA Are all these your guitars? SPENCER Are those your real breasts? She struts over to him. FRIDA Why don't you decide for yourself. Frida puts his hands on her breasts and gives him a deep, aggressive kiss. She unzips his pants. FRIDA You're not too drunk, are you? INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Jennifer is on her cellular phone. She's hunched behind a closed door like she doesn't want to be seen or heard. She hears Frida's machine pick up. JENNIFER (whispering) Frida... pick up the phone... INT. SPENCER'S APARTMENT/BEDROOM - NIGHT Spencer leads Frida to his bedroom. He turns on the lights. Frida turns them back off. Spencer turns them back on. SPENCER It's sexier with the lights on. FRIDA I prefer the darkness. Spencer and Frida start taking off their clothes. Frida turns off the lights before they're completely nude. Behind them, a bit of light comes through the window. We hear them going at it. SPENCER God, your nails are sharp. Frida laughs. Spencer flips on the light as they make out. Frida turns the light off. FRIDA Is this all you have? SPENCER Give it a few min... Oh yeah, nibble on my ear. Spencer flips on the lights again. SPENCER The better to see you with. Frida turns them back off. We hear them going at it again. SPENCER I love it when you bite me. Ouch, shit. Damn, that hurt. Spencer turns the light on. He gets a quick look at Frida -- her eyes glow like wolf eyes. Frida turns the light off. We hear Spencer freaking out and wolf-like growls and noises. A vicious attack. From the darkness, we see the silhouette of a human figure with wolf-like features get up from the bed and walk off. Spencer is moaning. The room remains dark for a moment. Then Spencer struggles and turns on the light. He's all bloodied and can barely move as he reaches for the phone. As soon as he grabs the receiver, he dies. The bloody phone falls to the floor. EXT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT Peter and Lloyd are ringing Frida's buzzer. No answer. LLOYD I still don't get when you gave her back the pillowcase. PETER We only live a few blocks apart. LLOYD This is more than fishy, this chick dates a dude and he winds up dead. PETER Okay Lloyd, you tell me how she killed them. Lloyd thinks for a second. He scratches his head. LLOYD She's got a hidden pitbull. Maybe she hired someone to kill them. PETER She's not a suspect. What is her motive? There's nothing, NOTHING connecting her to either crime except that she dated both guys. LLOYD Sounds like you got a conflict of interest. PETER You take the cake Lloyd. Come on, she's not here. Let's check out her psycho ex. Peter and Lloyd walk away. Lloyd glances back at the building. LLOYD How do you know about her psycho ex? EXT. STREET - NIGHT We see Frida's POV as she runs through the streets. Quick glimpses of her growling and panting. Shots of people on the street who are looking at her, frightened. A little boy stares at her as she passes. BOY Wolf! Wolf! Montage culminates with a low angle shot of Frida's silhouette, with wolflike features, howling in front of a full moon. INT. FRIDA'S APARTMENT - DAY Frida's asleep, disheveled, with scratches all over her. The phone's ringing. Frida stretches like a cat and gets up and sleepily answers the phone. FRIDA Hello? JENNIFER (ON PHONE) Frida? I was worried to death about you. I've called you for two days. Where have you been? FRIDA I've been here. What day is it? JENNIFER Tuesday. Are you okay? FRIDA Shit, I guess I missed work. JENN