Audience Participation for Shock Treatment

Here's some lines from jrblevin@edcen.ehhs.cmich:
Hola, Horrorites! As of late, I've been trying to think up comeback 
lines for "Shock Treatment." Here are a few I've come up with. Bracketed 
dialogue in CAPS to be shouted. 
(during narrator's opening spiel)
[TELL US A LEAST-LOVED BEDTIME STORY, MR. MIKE!]
Narrator:  Once upon a time
[IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY]
Narrator:  In a town not far from yours, there lived a real fast guy.
[JUST ASK HIS GIRLFRIEND!]
Narrator:  His life was fast.  His friends were fast.
[EVEN HIS HAND WAS FAST!]
Narrator:  Even his food was fast.  But he was still not satisfied.
[NEITHER WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND!]
Narrator:  He wanted to share his fast philosophy with someone else.
[WAS IT JANET RENO?] or [WAS IT K.D. LANG?]
Narrator:  A beautiful girl.
[GUESS NOT.]
Narrator:  Trouble was...
[A BOARD GAME]
Narrator:  She was in the arms of...
[ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL GIRL?]
Narrator:  Another man!
[DAMN!  I WAS HOPING FOR SOME GIRL-GIRL STUFF!]

***

(during "Marriage Maze"; Ricky enters with wheelchair)
Ricky:  Hey, Bert!
Bert:  Hey, Ricky!
[YOU'RE SO FINE!  YOU'RE SO FINE, AND I'M SO BLIND!  HEY, RICKY!  (clap,
clap)]
Ricky:  I've come for Mr. Majors.
[HERE, LET ME GET YOU A KLEENEX.] or
[BUT WILL MR.  MAJORS COME FOR YOU?] or
[DID HE SAY HE'D COME FOR MR. ROGERS?]

***

(final verse of "Bitchin' in the Kitchen")
Janet:  Tell me, spectator, why are we always sooner or later?
[Echo:  TELL ME, VIBRATOR, WHY CAN'T BRAD HAVE HIS ORGASMS LATER?]

***

(during "In My Own Way")
Janet:  If only you knew how to...
[FIND MY G-SPOT!]

***

(during "Lullaby")
Nation:  You feel like choking...
[YOUR CHICKEN!  HUH-HUH!]
Cosmo:  Oh, romance is not a children's game
[TELL THAT TO JERRY SEINFELD!] or [TELL THAT TO WOODY ALLEN!]
Nation:  But you keep going back
     It's driving you insane
(As camera goes briefly by Bert's window...)
[AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR VERY OWN BERT SCHNICK!  (pause)  
NICE
JOB, BERT!]

***

Of course, any time Bert is seen walking with his cane (like the scene
where he's looking for "Jay-net"), you could shout...
[DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT TOO MUCH MASTURBATION *CAN* CAUSE BLINDNESS!]

Here's a couple from Ruth Fink-Winter
Cop:    You'll find conference rooms
        And a children's playground.{locks jail cell door}
        Denton is a real okay town {makes okay sign, walks to the T}
        Civic pride and civic duty.
        And Denton girls are {wolf whistles} full of beauty. 
[echo: full of shit!]
or [and the cops are blind]
*
Emily:  This is the birthplace of the virtuous.

[Janet was from out of town.]
*
Oliver: Well Betty, there are many ways that the spider may catch the 
fly.
[How does Betty get men to sleep with her?]  
      There are monetary inducements,
*

Macy:   And F for. . .
[Fuck the teacher!]

Kids:   Food!

[as sign shows the F's swinging around: "This ad brought to you by the
American Nazi Party"]

FAncr:  First and foremost, Farley Flavor's fabulous fast foods feed and
        fortify families for a fabulous future.

[Oh, fuck off.]
*

Janet:  Why did you tell me not to sign now?
[It's important for the plot.]
Ansalong:       Well, that way you get the first day free.
*
Emily:  Infantile regression?

Bert:   You got it!
[Hey, Emily!  Fake an orgasm!]

Emily:  I got it!  I got it!
*

{Scene switch to the Weiss's garage door opening up.  Harry is starting 
his
lawnmower}
[Sing to us the Republican National Anthem!]
Harry:  A man should call the toss
        Wear the pants....

*

Cosmo:  Its classical.  {Ricky and Ansalong wheel out the TV}  Almost a 
-
  	textbook case.
[We wrote the book.]
*
Oliver: Clever of you to find this spot Betty

Betty:  It pays to know your way around Oliver. 
[And boy, has she been around!]

	I thought the Home Of Happiness would give your theory a new 
	perspective.
*
{Oliver smiles at Betty.  Scene changes to Janet brushing her teeth with
Ansalong in the back by the door.  
[Janet--what do you do after a blowjob?]

{Janet spits}
*
[Janet, say something totally incomprehensible.]

Janet:  Drift into
        The Treacle deep
        Slip into its silent depths
        {whisper}  Go to sleep
        With your everything akimbo
        Float into the sandman's limbo.
*

Cop:    Does this bird belong to you?
[Overact, Betty!]
*
Janet:  There's just the two of me
        Alone at last together
        We've got the luck so far
        We are my lucky star
["Oh, shit, I think I broke it" as her voice echoes]
        {Echo on "star"  Janet has a "What the hell is going on" look on 
her
        face.  Cheerleaders start to dance away from her.   Janet starts
        getting into the music}
*
[We'd like some really cheap symbolism, please.]
{Frankie the cheerleader knocks over the pillars that are in back of
Janet.Scene shifts back to Farley's office showing Farley giving an 
"Ahh" of
approval.}
[Boy, I'd hate to have to clean under his desk.]
 
*

Oliver: Care to indulge?

Betty:  Indulge?

Oliver: Uh huh.  In a little um -
[Cheap sex?]
	 masquerade.

*
During all of "Looking for Trade", audience of course echoes "I wanna
get laid" for "I'm looking for trade"
*

Brad:   Hey look they're
[giving out free donuts!]
	 having a party.

{Vance is about to take off, because he sees Neely and her crew
following...}
*
Brad:   Some people do it to be funny
[And then there's Betty]
Janet:  Some people do it for the money
*
Oliver: Some people do it for enslavement
[And then there's Betty]
Betty:  Some people do it on the pavement
*
Bd&Jt:  Some people do it for enjoyment
[And then there's Betty]
Bt&Ol:  Some people do it for employment

Here's a couple from the Quad Princess...
*
During Denton U.S.A.
 
Cop:    You'll find conference rooms
	*Where do you smoke your weed at?*
        And a children's playground.
        Denton is a real okay town 
        Civic pride and civic duty.
        And Denton girls are {wolf whistles} full of beauty *Full of 
Shit* or *Full of
	Bootie.*

*
During Carte Blanche
Janet:  So if you're looking for a
        Standard to which you can aspire
        Then baby
        Look at me!
        *I gotta pee!*
        Oh oh oh!
        Look at me!
        *I gotta pee!*